Saturday, 3 September 2022


After many years, and by a narrow margin, Somerset has finally become an independent country. Here, the newly enforced border runs along the railway line for a short distance, with the level crossing gates providing that perfect ‘Checkpoint Charlie’. It’s believed the highly acclaimed Ealing Comedy ‘Passport to Pimlico’ was the catalyst, with the Isle of Wight, Canvey Island, Eel Pie Island, the Principality of Sealand and Rutland taking the lead a year of two before 

In recent days, angry farmers with land either side of the border have tried to ram the gates, so a loco now sits at the crossing. Although now cleaned up, the last week or so has seen several yogurt fights between those for and those against. Now things have mostly settled down (due to a shortage of yoghurts) and all goods are checked going in and out, with a complete ban of cider and cheddar cheese, apples, pears, milk, cream and strawberries from other counties being rigorously enforced. 

Barry Bullhead from the newly formed Somersetshire Ministry of Misery and one of the campaigners of ‘Somersexit’ has made an appearance, for it appears that a stash of Cornish clotted cream is being smuggled, it being hidden inside a wooden crate of tinned Portuguese sardines. However for a fee of an unmarked thickly filled brown envelope of the type much favoured by town planners and members of parliament, Barry Bullhead will let the load through, the gates opening and the locomotive moving as if by magic. 

How Somersexit will pan out, we have little idea, but lack or any real physical boundaries between Devon, Dorset, Wiltshire and Gloucestershire are going to make it a bootlegger’s paradise, so expect further exciting adventures of ongoing nonsense from the land of the little people. 

Fresh film and typewriter ribbon is expensive, you can help me here

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