Thursday 8 September 2022

Pork Scratching & Pickled Onion Omelette

Thursday morning down at the canal basin looks a little busier than normal. Philbert The Fixer is asking boatman Colin The Coal why he has such a long tall tiller. Should anyone care, the reason is because the original owner of the boat was 7ft6 tall. But Colin isn’t going to tell Philbert that until he’s offered one of the bottles of spiked cider lurking in the crate. 

In the distance, regulars Pete & Dud watch the arrival of the mid morning Chilcompton to Frome service, whilst discussing whether jarred winkles are better in brine or vinegar. They’re also talking about the new pork scratching and pickled onion omelette served in the pub as one of its ‘new season meals’ aimed at lonely single late middle-aged men with hygiene issues. 

Meanwhile, Barry Bullhead, from The Ministry of Misery is signing up Milky Malcolm to do a bit of moonshine running using hollowed out truckles of cheddar to hide jars of illicit booze. All in all, just another day in the land of the inch high mischievous people of Little Britain. 

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