From Our Westminster Commentator

Today’s post is written by our Westminster commentator Hilary Gove-Tuckshop-Fugg (with apologies to any northern readers who can read and might be offended). 

So without further ado, over to Hilary….

Here are are in ’The Grim North’, which curiously looks like the Somerset Levels, but I’m assured it is ‘northern’ - I mean, just look at all the smoke, that melancholic sky and steam lorry, not a Tesla in sight. 

Today’s the launch of the new HS2 ‘Network North Rail’ service between Birmingham and some northern town or village known as Manchester. But one being, as you lot call ‘a namby-pamby’ southerner living in the Westminster area of ‘that there London’, I know little of such, so please excuse any ignorance by my behalf. 

Here’s the first train, and most stylish it is in those bright colours designed to brighten up your almost monochromatic soot stained landscape. And because we in the south imagine most of you walk, use bicycles or horse and carriage to get to work ’at t’mill’, you’ll I’m sure enjoy this extravagant nod to Victorian times when Britain was at its height. 

And if you look beyond the fine red carriage, which at a push can get 78 of you grubby lot in, there’s even an unmanned guard’s van for your pet whippets, pigeons and of course your small children employed in the mills and pits. 

You’ve never had it so good, so stop moaning and get back to your bingo, vape and betting shops or whatever you do after an 19 shift in the frozen rag pudding factory.

Yours,

Hilary Gove-Tuckshop-Fugg 

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