Saturday 23 March 2024

Lockdown Lovers

To commemorate 4 whole years of the ‘lockdown’ here in Little England, masked crusaders and Zombie Apocalypse of Doom work-shy lockdown-lovers Sharon & Tracy love to relive those halcyon plague days when they used to fight over toilet paper and Camembert cheese. They both have really bad teeth and a wasp chewer’s pout, so they welcome any excuse to wear a mask again made from chopped up dishcloths, old socks and for those more creative with a sewing machine, old underwear. 

Local businessman Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe has seen the business opportunity and decided to put on travelling roadshow on the back of a flatbed truck for our masked crusaders to fight things out, with today’s choice being everyone’s favourite, the humble bog roll. There is is course much betting involved, with many of our regulars coming out to have a flutter for the chance of winning a few sovs. 

Nasal Nigel is in prime position standing on a beer cask to give him an elevated view, for he also has really bad teeth and a fetish for wearing discarded face masks when playing with his TT gauge Flying Scotsman. What I horrible little man, his mother loves him though.


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