Thursday 15 December 2022

Dr Loo

Today the little people are shooting a new science fiction drama for the LBBC (Little British Broadcasting Corporation), it’s to be called Dr Loo. It’s mostly based around a urine smelling public telephone box that can travel through time and space, then manifest in awkward, silly and almost certainly dangerous places (mostly because it looks good on camera). 

The telephone box is far smaller inside than on the outside, that would of course be expected, but is really is far far smaller. Anyone wanting to use the box has to cling to the outside and hold on for dear life. And anyway, because it’s a budget production the door doesn’t open. 

Curiously, the now ‘Sir’ Nasal Nigel (read my post from a day or two ago to find out about the ‘Sir’ bit) has been cast as the main character ‘Dr Loo’ - it’s amazing what a knighthood  can do, allowing inappropriate people in to roles they’re really not qualified for, but of course this is Little Britain. 

In the storyline, an exiled engine has just flown through space from the planet Zob Beta XI on the unfashionable outer western arm of the galaxy Engine Shed 5. It’s occupied by robots that look like railway locomotives and trucks with animated fibreglass faces that smugly communicate with condescending voices. The battle scarred locomotive here which identifies as ‘Timothy’, a once blue engine with big eyes, appears to have struggled a little with the extreme heat entering the Earth’s atmosphere. So of course he’s now type cast an evil baddy with evil megalomaniac tendencies, the burning heat changing his character for the worse. 

But will Dr Loo, he also being a misunderstood social outcast, be able to extract the latent hidden goodness from the once irritatingly smug robot engine? Could introducing Timothy to naked bus spotting at 3am be the answer? 

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