Bill & Ted’s Big Adventure

Saturday morning at the colliery deep in The Forest of Dean. And as usual the weekly ballast train from the nearby quarry arrives to run around its load before heading back to the junction at Lydney. 

Much to Kevin’s surprise, he finds a ’Shark’ ballast brakevan blocking the end of run-around loop, with Bill & Ted inside taking turns to rotate the big brake wheel as they squeal and giggle to themselves like a couple of laughing gnomes helping themselves to the Bachmann seconds stand at the NEC. 

Socially challenged and easily led Bill & Ted (hey, that almost rhymes), always keen for a big adventure are gullible souls, and definitely not the sharpest tools, especially after a night out drinking spiked cider at The Miners nearby. For late last night (actually only 3 hours ago, there was a lock-in) at the pub, old bar fly, lush, retired railway guard and prankster Douglas, told them that the brake wheel is in fact a steering wheel, and that they could use the brake van to get home by road if their journey was all downhill - gosh, that’s all very Titfield Thunderbolt isn’t it? 

The Chubby Controller (I can’t say fat anymore apparently) won’t be too impressed when he hears about inebriation in charge of a brake van and potential theft. However, what happens in The Forest, stays in The Forest, so they’ll be okay this time. But don’t be like Bill & Ted, even if you are rather silly and love a drunken adventure, but instead cycle home without lights and frozen brakes, that’s far more fun.  

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