Saturday 25 March 2023

Hire Boaters

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It’s Saturday morning down at the coal wharf and the supply narrowboat has arrived on its weekly tour of the Somerset Coal Canal. But its stock has changed from the regular haul of useful and not so useful goodies. 

Regulars will know that the moonshiners have tried all sorts of mobile moonshiner production, with one of the more recent having the still and associated gubbins on a train, but the constant bouncing around in the rough old tracks caused a few near fatal hazards involving flaming hot liquor and a drunken engine crew. 

However the supply narrowboat with its gentle motion and walking speed has proven to be ideal, apart from when drunken suit wearing office dwelling day-hire-boaters crash their boats in to our lovely old steam powered vessel here. But luckily in these rose tinted times of yore, such incidents are few and far between. 

Readers of my nonsense from a week or two ago might recognise the boat here being that of Hairy Horacio Locke-Paddle, you are indeed right. That’s him and Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe who are coming to a deal for Terry and his merry band of moonshiners to lease the boat for a further few weeks. This suits Hairy Horacio Locke-Paddle well, because he’s heard that Bognor is rather nice this time of year, and anyway he’s always fancied staying in a seaside guesthouse run by an eccentric couple. By the way, the BBC comedy Fawlty Towers was supposedly inspired by one of Hairy Horacio Locke-Paddle’s stories upon his return. 

And finally, today in charge of the moonshine run, we have new boy Waving Willy, brother of Waving Wayne. And finally finally, Doug has turned up with his trusty barrow in anticipation of buying a few jars of ‘shine to take home for his mother. Such a good boy. 


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