Monologue Monday

Toy train nuts aren't known for having the most positive outlook on life. But here are a few comments I've picked up over the years, some on internet forums - though I tend to avoid those these days, social media, working for a magazine, commission enquiries and general earwigging at exhibitions and clubrooms. 

Of course this is only the tip of the iceberg, but I'm sure you can add to the list in your comments. 

• Hope they do it in N gauge soon
• Didn't buy that mag it because it was plastic bagged
• Why do I have to pay for it?
• There's nothing in it for me
• Photography, these days it's all Photoshop!
• Not enough modern image
• Not enough steam
• Not enough Z gauge
• Not enough N gauge 
• Too expensive
• The hobby is dying out 
• They never reply to my emails
• Help me, I don't know what to model
• Why won’t manufacturers listen to my suggestions? 
• Which scale is right for me?
• Hornby 
• After mother died I converted the bathroom in to a railway room
• Armchair
• You don't want to do it like that, you want to do it like this!
• That question has been answered many times before, why didn't you think of using the search function?
• Not enough time to make a layout because I don't know how to turn the computer off!
• I hate television
• Grrr, the X-factor!
• Grrr, Britain’s Got Talent 
• Don't like gurls
• The car parking is dreadful at that show
• Buses parked on model railway bridges 
• Lima class 50s look much better than Hornby ones
• Female
• Mother has lovely hands
• Said engine
• Said poster
• S&D means Stockton and Darlington not the Somerset & Dorset!
• My mate said he saw a Deltic on the SDJR in 1961
• Giving up and taking up stamp collecting
• It’s printed on nasty paper, I’m sure it’s thinner than last year 
• They don't do the number I want
• They don't do the colour I want
• Warley parking is far too expensive
• Warley is too expensive 
• Cake 
• Sausage rolls 
• Prototype or fiction?
• Prototype is better!
• Fiction is better!
• The Titfield Thunderbolt 
• I want mummy
• Too much detail
• Not enough detail
• Plastic handrails 
• Don't like colour
• Don't like B&W
• Wrong shade of BR Blue
• Hornby BR Blue
• Wrong shade of GWR green
• Traction tires 
• Why don’t Heljan do ready to run P4? There’d be a huge demand for it
• Can you build me a layout, I can’t pay you but will give you the materials
• Can you build me a room filler layout for £100?
• Design me a layout for free
• Giving up
• It can’t be 1963, that car didn’t come out until 1964
• I don't smell do I?
• I stink because I wash in beer once a year!
• My rucksack is bigger than yours
• Rucksacks 
• Bachmann seconds scrum 
• I ordered a Bachmann 3F 3 years ago and I'm still waiting
• Ex-pat; why don't I get the same deal as UK readers?
• It's not fair 'cos I can't afford it
• I think you might find…..
• Help!
• Can I get Waterloo onto a sheet of 4 x 2 in O gauge?
• Mummy!
• Why don't manufacturers make that loco?
• Duplication 
• P4 is better than S4
• I never throw plasticard off cuts away however small
• I like sniffing PVA, it makes me happy. 
• My workbench is so untidy
• I have workbench OCD
• It's my trainset…
• Bad grammar
• Grammar police 
• Manufacturers should move back to the UK, it would be cheaper. 
• Youth of today
• Why don't magazines employ proof readers?
• That feature on the Class 87 was all wrong, they should have asked  me first!
• In my day...
• Divorced
• Too many adverts
• Off to put the kettle on
• Real Ale 
• Craft beer is too expensive 
• Foreign muck 
• Just dropped onto the doormat
• Can't wait, mine was posted today!
• Lost my modelling mojo
• Why don't gurls like me?

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