Sunday 21 May 2023

Just Stop Soil

Bob Geeza Cat is a well known activist in the feline ‘Just Stop Soil’ pressure group, a campaign started a few years ago by posh pedigree cats to stop their owners using garden soil as cat litter. ‘Just Stop Soil’, want only the finest odour reducing high grade absorbent clumping kitty litter to be used, and the use of mucky soil to be banned. 

Today in protest, Bob has glued his paws to the timbers in the middle of the level crossing and has blocked the movement of both rail and road traffic. As with most of these situations there is much faffing about, with a crate of fresh cream being supplied to ensure the wellbeing of our possibly until now popular cat being paramount over everything else. Even snivelling little tick Neil has dropped down to Bob’s height and is reciting some feline inspired poetry to calm his nerves, though to be honest it’s probably having the opposite effect. 

However, Bob is about to discover that when the crossing is flooded with 180 proof moonshine, the adhesive used to glue his paws to the crossing timbers will literally dissolve in seconds. Most conveniently, George and Deidre just so happen to be delivering moonshine, regulars will now doubt have spotted them standing in front of their mobile moonshine production and delivery lorry. 


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