Saturday, 21 May 2022

Motor Rail Service

Saturday morning at an undisclosed colliery location, British Railways are running secret trials for a forthcoming 'Motor Rail Service'. The revolutionary trains will allow keen motorists to drive to the pub, drink a skinfull, and not have to worry about driving home drunk. If successful, roll-on roll-off wagons will be introduced, however for now, cars are craned onto short wheel base wagons. The main problem I can see, is that very few pubs are served by a bespoke railway siding. But let’s just enjoy the moment for what it is.

From left to right if you zoom in, it would appear that Comical Ned (with the funny shaped head) is in charge of the crane. Waving Wayne is waving for no apparent reason, but he’s a friendly kind of chap, and always a joy to have around, for he hasn’t stopped waving since 1953 when he discovered this skill. On the engine, Deliberation Dave is wondering about the gaudy shade of blue on the Ford Popular, thinking that the colour won’t be great for resale. But thankfully it’s not metallic brown, that would be really bad news. 

Barry Bullhead from The Ministry of Misery has been hired in the make the whole experience less than impressive for the customer. In little Britain customer service should never be pleasant, for us Brits like to moan, in fact it’s good for business, especially with dowdy timeshare in Torremolinos plague mask wearing beige bungalow dwelling hybrid car drivers (in metallic brown of course). 

Beryl is standing to attention next to her bubble car in finest military style, it being reminiscent of her of her days in the Women’s Auxiliary Air Force (WAAF) during the war. Honorary guests Posh Liz and not quite so Posh Margo are here witness the event. And of course we have the appearance of local bounder and cad Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe, no doubt involved in some semi-legal weeze. 

As always, click, swipe, tap, lick, wiggle or whatever you do to enlarge. 

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