Saturday 1 June 2024

Dirty Old Town

Saturday morning down at the gasworks, young loves Farmer George & Deidre are dropping off a moonshine order disguised as milk bottles. We’ve not seen George & Deidre for a while, they’ve been keeping a low profile after rival Barry Bullhead from the Ministry of Misery was busted a few weeks ago running his illegal distillery side hustle. 

But PC Rob Banks is not to be feared up there on the balcony of the gasometer, for he’s heavily absorbed conducting the dawn chorus, with this elevated spot being ideal for the task in hand. Mr Banks has quite a knack of making the hedge sparrows and young starlings perform an instrumental version of ‘Dirty Old Town’ in C - the favourite key for all birds, it being known as the key of ‘chirpy chirp’. 

Below, Nasal Nigel and Adenoidal Andrew often hang about the gasworks at weekends, if you zoom in you can see them with their hands in their special pockets. Today as usual Nigel is clutching his TT gauge ‘Flying Scotman’ and Andrew an HO gauge ‘Big Boy’, how he crams it in there I’ve no idea - but maybe that’s why it’s called a ‘special pocket’. Though he’s often seen buying jars of petroleum jelly at the local chemist ‘for mother’s carpet sores’ supposedly. 

Bob Geeza Cat is meowing at Neil asking for pickled pilchards, but Neil doesn’t speak meow so just kneels sympathetically. I must admit they do look good together in this pose and is in just the right spot to balance the composition of this scene. 

Top blokey-bloke ex-boxer and wrestler, Gaylord Grip has just arrived in his lorry. And once PC Rob Banks gets into conducting the leading hedge sparrow to perform a complicated 8 bar solo with key change, he’ll will nip over to George & Deidre to collect his order of moonshine - I mean milk. 

And finally, is that Beryl’s supercharged Austin 7? If so, she’ll be in the cab of the engine with Peter Peckett, for she loves a sweaty man who can do a breakfast fry up on a hot oily coal shovel. 


Much time goes in to creating these scenes, help support the regular nonsense…

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