Wednesday 5 June 2024

Boom Boom!

Local businessman, ladies’ man, shifty charmer and cad Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe watches the morning Burnham on Sea to Evercreech Junction goods rumble past. He knows that the railway has limited time, with so many railways closing around the country, with this one being high on Dr Beeching’s list of extermination. 

Facing the train with his trademark ‘look no hands’ pose, he thinks ‘this will soon all be mine’ as he plans to put in a bid as soon as British Railways decides to sell the land. He has many ideas, maybe a nudist camp, a trailer park, an open prison for shamed ex-celebrities, maybe one of those new fangled supermarkets or simply a scrapyard, because a scrapyard will compliment the beauty of the Somerset Levels so well. 

The railway will have plenty of old iron, steel, lead, blue asbestos and other deadly substances that need processing. A fat brown envelope will take care of any nimby councillors and planners who object on the grounds of water pollution and it being an eyesore. 

And finally we have Bob Geeza Cat, complimenting the scene as he always does so well. Many will notice that he is a rather large cat, this is because he’s one third fox who is rumoured to be related to TV’s foxy children’s presenter Basil Brush. Boom boom!


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