Saturday morning at Polbrook Gurney Colliery Halt and the 9.03am Chilcompton to Frome service slows to collect passengers. Today’s train consisting of a single former Midland Railway wooden panelled coach that smells of fungus, urine, stale beer and pipe smoke. And on the nose we have one of Highbridge Shed’s Johnson 1P 0-4-4 tanks which was modified during WW2 so it could also produce moonshine whilst performing railway duties.
Working from left to right, Bob Geeza Cat has received some samples of the latest ‘shine, this batch starting life as milk, which is then fermented and distilled to produce 180% proof liquor. It’s rather an acquired taste, but will no doubt be popular with Horlicks and Ovaltine fanatics who want a depth charge of something a little less soporific and more invigorating.
Next we have Smelly Suitcase Sandy, he likes to dress as a bellboy, even though he isn’t one. His tiny suitcase is thought to contains spam sandwiches, Tizer and a dried head which is believed to be that of his sister’s. His sister disappeared around 5 years ago and hasn’t been seen since. Sandy is a good friend of Nasal Nigel should anyone ask.
Then we have Rufus Hound, who has today adopted national treasure Uncle Bob as his custodian. Bob is researching for his forthcoming minority interest railway themed television series aimed at schoolboys with no friends and boring late middle-aged musty tweed-clad old duffers who still live with ‘mother’.
And finally we have tiny Fifi, who is quite unusual in that her head can rotate a full 360 degrees at 78 rpm if she’s had too much sugar or is listening to that new fangled ‘skiffle’ music. Our favourite hell’s granny Beryl has bought Fifi along to teach her a few tricks like pick-pocketing and sneaking in to bars and pubs undetected by the landlord.
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