LCGB - Locomotive Club for Girls and Boys

I’m a bit short of new colour photos, so you’ll have to suffer black and white today. But this is real black and white, it being taken on proper black and white film. 35mm Fomapan 100 black and white film from the Czech Republic to be precise, they being famous for their older style black and white range of films. I wonder how many times I can get ‘black and white’ in to this post? Let’s just leave black and white here, and move on before this post gets rather dull and grey…..

Now to what going on in the photo, here we are at Catcott again, and it’s another Saturday rail tour, but rather than it being an SLS (Slow Locomotive Society) trip, this is one by arch nemeses, LCGB - Locomotive Club for Girls and Boys. Very few girls are in the club, apart from over protective bigger sisters and mothers who join up so they can keep an eye on their loveable younger siblings and offspring. 

You’ll notice that few of the passengers have alighted to take a look at their train during the scheduled 15 minute stopover, something which might even include a run-past, schedule allowing of course. 

Looking more closely at this photo, many of the passengers appear too old to pass as children, but back in olden times we tended to look older. This wasn’t helped by the geriatric tweed and hessian attire which was passed down through the generations. And of course we must remember that children worked in mills and down mines whilst smoking Captan Full Strength, or Craven A if they were an aspiring type hoping to work in an office one day. 

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Friday, but not Front End Friday

 Friday, but not Front End Friday

Douglas (formerly known as ‘Doug’ until he lost his spade) and Deliberation Dave, watch Harry and his Hunslet push a rake of empties up the steep gradient in to the colliery. 

In winter times this can be a hard work, with wet rails making the slippery process challenging. On such days, the incoming rake of wagons is either split up, or an extra engine helps to pull from the other end. 

But today it’s dry and mild, so after a good run up, there is little problem as the 0-6-0 engine propels its motley load of wagons up the 1 in 20 with great gusto. On such days there are sometimes spectacular smoke effects, especially if keen photographers pop a little money behind the bar of the nearby Pedant & Armchair pub for the loco crew at the end of their shift. Though it would appear today that the monies have not been forthcoming. 

And finally, Bob Geeza Cat, who rumour has it is half fox, complements the cameo, probably due to the promise of some warm kippers.

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Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Freddy Flag and Harry Hunslet have just noticed Bob Geeza Cat on the hot tin roof of the pithead building (though actually it’s probably asbestos), so they briefly pause to check he’s okay - which of course he is, being a geeza of a cat. 

Unlike most cats, Bob doesn’t generally go for height, preferring a lap or a warm footplate to curl up on for his obligatory 23 hours snoozing every day, including bank holidays. But of course the warm roof doubles up as a good place to observe comings and goings, something Bob has always been good at. 

Wagonholics will have noticed the old Northern United wagon, a well known Forest of Dean colliery, but the wagon is now in BR ownership with BR number painted over bottom left. The decades old paintwork is just about holding up along with various repairs over the years, but the wagon will no doubt soon provide wood for the annual colliery Guy Fawkes night later in the year. This event is always very spectacular, with the huge fire being fuelled by moonshine heads (aka foreshot) collected over the year, they can’t be drunk, but they sure burn well. 

The pithead used to have two identical sheaves (winding wheels), but one of them got damaged by a rogue meteorite, so has been replaced with a much smaller one (in the reality our cat ate one of the 3D prints!), bodged up from two wagon wheels placed face to face.

And finally, how it was taken using a 1966 vintage Mamiya C33. Kentmere 400. 1/2 sec, f32

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A Man Who Can

Serene Sunday

Due to the very short platform at Catcott Halt, Evercreech bound trains block the level crossing for a few minutes. But there is no rush, for there is little if any road traffic apart from the occasional tractor, hedgehogs, ducks wanting to cross the line and drunks crawling several miles home after a night on the tiles in nearby Glastonbury. 

Loco crew Pete & Dud, are on the footplate chatting to former go go dancer, now crossing keeper Cynthia Dando about the weather, that ‘new skiffle music’ and last night’s toad in the hole pub game session down The Crown, which was quite a rowdy one by all accounts. 

Then conversation moves on to the missing ridge tile which blew off after a recent moonshine still explosion, “I really need ‘a man who can’, for hubby Arthur will really struggle to get up on to the roof with his arthritis. If one of you two strapping lads could help me, I’ll make it worth your while”. 

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Swirlywirly Thingamajig Thing

Radstock shed’s ‘Jinty’ (though they were called ‘Bagnalls’ on the S&DJR) 47276 simmers next to the rotary aggregate swirlywirly loading thingamajig thing at Cement Quay. 

Everything is a little mucky, but nothing compared to what goes on in the minds of the inch high who are strangely lacking here today. Probably those darn aliens again I imagine. 

However the loco lamps are spotless, positively gleaming in fact. But as we know an old rag soaked in hooch can work wonders even with the filthiest of things but maybe not the minds of the inch high. 

I no longer have this layout, it now lives beyond the grim north in the land of haggis, bagpipes, blokes called Jimmy and deep fried Mars bars. It’s been known to get out on the road from time to time too with the Scottish Diesel and Electric Group

And finally, some might spot the tangled up locomotive 3 link coupling. This is the railway equivalent of ‘knickers in a twist’.

Rails to Wedmore

Here we are a Wedmore, the terminus of little recorded light railway which runs up from Shapwick Junction on the Evercreech to Highbridge line. It was to be a midway station with the line continuing to Cheddar to connect up with the GWR. But as was so often the case with over ambitious Victorian ‘railway mania’ plans, the money ran out at Wedmore.

This was partially due to apathy, drunkenness and the cost of building a railway which runs across the boggy Somerset Levels, and then up Mudgley Hill to Wedmore, this section requiring significant winding earthworks to ease the climb.

Though why the railway builders didn’t simply go around the hill we’ll never know, for on the former S&DJR network it is the norm for stations to be at least 3 miles from the places they serve.

The little locomotive has just run around its train and stopped next to the old wooden signal box for a three-way chat (more of a shout) between Deliberation Dave, Driver Douglas (originally from the Isle of Man) and nervous Signalman ‘Six Bells’ Syd.

And as usual, the conversational is about the 1 in 32 grade up to Wedmore, slippery rails, drunken pheasants that run across the line, old Mr Wilkins’ scrumpy cider, wobbly point levers, Mrs Miggins’ spiced apple crumble, land locked pirates, Morris dancing sheep, low flying cows, and of course run-away trains. The latter being a regular thing with the daily goods when they forget to pin down the brakes on the decent back to Shapwick Junction.

And finally, the more eagle eyed will notice that the engine has condensing pipes, this is due to it having a built in moonshine still, a covert conversion done at Highbridge Works during the war when there were plenty of other distractions. However, the downside is that the engine has very little power for even the shortest of train.

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Rubber Ruler

High up in the Mendip Hills, there’s a little known 2 foot gauge (or thereabouts) light railway that runs from nowhere in particular to nowhere in particular. The ‘thereabouts’ being a bit of an issue, for a rubber ruler was used to set the track gauge. 

The rubber ruler was designed so it can be rolled up and put in a pocket. But it does have its flaws, as Neil tries to work out why the train keeps derailing. But he thinks to himself ‘At least they haven’t used rubber rails and sleepers as well’. 

And finally, the train here as you’ll no doubt will have spotted, has a moonshine still and accommodation for passengers who wish to imbibe.

Grain

Tuesday afternoon, and Bill & Ted in their wheezing old Midland 3F 43216 propel a hopper wagon full of grain into the yard at Catcott, having recently arrived with the daily pick up goods from Burnham on Sea to Evercreech Junction. 

This is quite an unusual load, for usually it’s just a box van full of Airfix kits, beautiful Welsh coal or picking up bagged peat harvested from the many bogs in the area. The peat arrives by a small narrow gauge railway, you can see the shed over there to the left which often services narrow gauge railway stuff, bagged peat and the occasional moonshine still. 

The old canal in the foreground hasn’t been used for well over a hundred years for commercial traffic to and from Glastonbury, but it is a popular spot for twitchers, fishing types and occasionally Nasal Nigel who likes to hide in the tall grasses where ‘mother’ can’t see what he’s up to. 

Ah, the good old days…

Aristocat Travel

For years and years, we’ve been led to believe that these wagon are used for conveying radioactive matter. But in fact they’re for transporting wealthy important cats. Even security guards, former ice lolly makers Ben & Gerry didn’t know this until just a moment or two ago. 

Inside each ‘pod’ there is a super posh cat litter tray filled with semi precious stones and ‘beautiful’ coal to absorb moisture and odours. 

There is also a large 8k television screen showing films like, The Aristocats, Puss in Boots, various Garfield movies, Tom & Jerry cartoons, A Street Cat Named Bob, Top Cat, Catwoman and of course Cats & Dogs to name just a few. 

Sustenance is taken care of with freshly killed vermin, small birds and fish, and for a surcharge live snacks can be included. And of course there is always lashings of rich organic West Country milk and cream to wash things down. 

And finally, each cat has a deluxe bed of freshly plucked duck-down feathers to snooze on warmed by a nuclear powered radiator. Vegan cats aren’t catered for should anyone ask, but it’s something that might be looked in to subject to future demand.

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The Big Bang

 A regular Thursday in the land of the inch high. 

A former Great Eastern Railway J15 from Ipswich has been borrowed to trial on the Highbridge branch. Its light axle loading making it an ideal replacement for the elderly Midland 0-4-4 tank engines. 

Waving Waymond and Basil the Brush acknowledge the engine and its train, whilst admiring the modern parcels van and new fangled Mk1 carriage in that snazzy new maroon livery. All so very modern. 

Over to the right, the local council pot hole repair team have spent all morning polishing their not so trusty steam roller, anything to avoid filling the holes. 

Up on the Mendip Hills, the moonshiners are busy going about their illicit work, and judging by the huge cloud, another still has exploded, or Bristol has just been nuked by those pesky Russkies keen to remain the world’s number one vodka producer. 

And finally, the omnipresent Bob Geeza Cat is surveying the scene as always 🐾

WTF Wednesday

 WTF Wednesday 

In the land of the inch high most things work very well. But they’ve not been able to produce a tiny camera that works in 1/76th scale. So today they’re trialling a camera from the 12 inches to the foot scale world. 

Not only is the camera rather big (to them), processing the film could be problematic, for they’ll need to use swimming pools after dark filled with chemicals to perform the task. Printing the processed negatives will be even more of a challenge. 

To the reality…

For the camera fans, this is a 1951 vintage 518/16 Zeiss Nettar folding camera which takes 120 roll film which produces twelve 6x6cm negatives or slides per roll. The camera is fully working having been recently serviced by me. Fresh film is still readily available.

Airfix Engine Shed

 Sunday morning down at the engine shed. 

Mumbling Malcolm, Peter Peckett and Deliberation Dave are trying to justify their weekend overtime they’ve wangled, by mooching about checking and double checking what they checked earlier on. There can never be enough checks when handing such potentially dangerous machinery. 

Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe and Bob Geeza Cat are also mooching about, scouting for new spots to use for their illicit hooch production, but can’t work out why there is such a gap under the locomotive shed doors. Could it be a measuring error, or has the wood shrunk? Or maybe the building has grown, but not the doors? Or did they simply not have enough wood to do a proper job? We will probably never know, but apparently Airfix based their much loved plastic kit on the building here. 

And finally, yes the smoke extractor really is a boat propeller, it reputedly coming off a WW1 Royal Navy launch which went astray and ran aground just up from Brentford Dock on the Grand Union Canal next to the old Firestone rubber factory. Why this happened, much like the loco shed doors, we’ll probably never know, but being in the land of the inch high, booze will almost certainly have been involved. That and excessive snacking on pickled winkles. 

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The Skidmark Monkeys

 Saturday morning down by the ‘water tower’. 

New to the area locomotive fireman Lonnie Doonican, who at weekends plays banjo and sings rather badly in his skiffle group The Skidmark Monkeys, calls over to Waving Wally (though it might be Waving Willy) for assistance with the water hose. 

Wally replies back saying that he must be new to the job, because whilst it looks like a water tower, it is in fact a dispensary and storage for locally produced hooch. 

“But if you want to fill up, beware your engine might take on a whole new character and will run at twice (‘two times’ for children and Americans) its normal speed. But seeing you’re in a skiffle band and play banjo, you’ll be used to such double speed jollity.”

And finally, what’s with the raised bricks on the wall to the right? That’s a secret braille type code for the partially sighted or blind and says ‘hooch’. Though only the very tallest can use it. 

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Candy Crushers & Pot Noodlers

Thursday at Windmill Sidings - in a part of forgotten Norfolk which cannot be found on any maps. It’s first thing, and not a soul is yet to be seen next to the ancient disused windmill, which last saw traditional use 100 years before the railway came. 

However, the locals maintain it for pagan correction rituals; those with eyes too close together, witches, aggressive vegans, tee-totallers, Prius owners, those who wear spandex sports attire, Lambrini drinkers, shandy drinkers, young men who wear their jeans too low, latte drinkers, those who leave half a pint of beer undrunk, owners of metallic poo brown cars, couscous eaters, trainer wearers, politicians, despots, local government officers, those who order posh coffee in busy pubs, pot noodlers, double glazing salesman, virtue signallers, those who demand sprinkles on their ice cream, shouty people on mobile phones, Candy Crushers, banjolele players, and anyone from out of town. 

These often lost souls are attached to the windmill arms and spun around until they repent. Other than that, it’s a lovely spot to spend a sunny Thursday morning.