Off to Play the Slots in Burnham

Click to enlarge 

Here we are at Catcott, as the 10.07am Evercreech Junction to Combwich via Highbridge arrives. Although it’s only mid September, there’s quite a chilly brisk northerly breeze, the clag from the slowing engine being an indication of its strength as it blows down off Mendip. 

Awkward Teresa, Wee Nicola & Dizzy Lizzie are off for a day out playing the slots at Burnham on Sea, something they regularly do at weekends, usually followed by a few gins at the Royal Clarence Hotel. Though Wee Nicola will have a large glass or three of Buckfast wine, a popular tipple with those from north of the border. Allegedly. 

They’ll have to get a bus from Highbridge to Burnham, because whilst the railway still runs there, trains no longer use the line which will shortly be dismantled, for sadly the line finally closed on the 8th of September at the end of the summer timetable. Though even before that date, the regular passenger service ended in 1951 and was thereafter only used occasionally for holiday specials and goods. 

Since the Western Region took over control of much the former ‘Somerset & Dorset’, many of the old LMS and Midland engines have been replaced with those from the former Great Western. With today’s service being hauled by a Collett 0-6-0, number 3206 of Templecombe Shed. 

In tow is a relatively modern modern Hawksworth brake composite coach, and a bogie parcels van. The trio have splashed out on first class tickets I hasten to add, for these Hawksworth coaches are far more comfortable than the former LMS suburban coaches they’re replacing. 

And finally, Bob Geeza Cat is back from his short break in Bristol after accidentally falling asleep on the footplate for the Bristol goods a few days ago. 

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It’s all Bananas

The new even greener container train has only taken 14 days from Southampton Docks, travelling at less than walking pace with plenty of breaks and several horse changes. This was not helped by the rather convoluted route required to avoid bridges, the consist being rather out of gauge. 

Poor old Hubert, the much loved former conversational Latin speaking horse has found little use for his language skills since Britain formally became Little Britain, so has gone back to pulling things around, so sad for an old boy who is so clever and on the verge of retirement. 

But at least The Ministry of Mayhem’s green agenda has been given another tick, but sadly at the expense of the perishable fruit within the containers which is now well past its ‘best by’ date - it’s all bananas.

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Mirror on a Stick

A quiet Sunday over at Brew Street down by the canal. 

Very little is going on, not even the omnipresent cat is to be seen, something that is most unusual. But Bob Geeza Cat was spotted snoozing on the warm footplate of the Bristol goods yesterday, so it’s likely he’s ended up there for a few days. But I’m sure he’ll be back in due course. 

Meanwhile Cyril ‘Flange’ Cupcake-Smith is checking out the wheel flanges on his locomotive. He’s a bit obsessed with such, being the leading light in the fine scale section of The Bridgwater & District Model Railway & Pigeon Fanciers Society which has been flying strong since 1883. 

Cyril always carries a small ruler, measuring callipers and a mirror on a stick with him so he can check tolerances and clearances of almost everything he comes across, especially the underside of things. 

But only last week he was thrown off the bus after wanting to check the size of the bus ticket before buying one. It was during the rush hour, so one can understand the actions of the clippy, especially when Cyril got out his mirror on a stick to look up the conductor’s left trouser leg ‘to check clearances’. 

Cyril is married, something that might come as a surprise to many here. But it would appear that Mavis quite likes being poked with his measuring callipers on Sunday mornings before church. Ooohh, saucy…..

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The National Moonshine Grid

Back on the 23rd of August, I wrote about the new directive from The Ministry of Mayhem to install fresh running moonshine to every property in Little England. 

Pubs have been prioritised, because most will close within the next 5 to 10 years, and it’s hoped it will give them a little extra life along with their ageing customer base who also have a similar life expectancy. 

Such a huge project will take decades, and will likely be scrapped by forthcoming governments due to future cultural changes and running over budget (Gen Z preferring vapes, TikTok and drugs to pubs and booze supposedly). 

Here we are outside The Pedant & Armchair, the sort of pub popular with a certain demographic, and the first of the expert team of installers have arrived to start the all important work. 

Shortly the road will be dug up to allow the installation of pipe work, all so important for the safe transfer of boozy tincture straight to the bar, or wherever else inside the property for that matter. 

There will be health benefits too, because being at 180% proof, it will also be antiviral, something useful in a pub with regulars that never wash their hands after fiddling with their Flying Scotsman. 

And finally, the little crate next to Bob Geeza Cat has some moonshine samples, so the landlord knows what to expect once connected up to the National Moonshine Grid. 

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‘With a Dash of Washing Up Liquid’

Deep in The Forest it’s a bit of a wet one this morning with the arrival of a ballast train for a little track maintenance. 

This is something that very seldom happens, for the grass and weeds have been doing a fantastic job holding everything in place for years. 

All helped along with diluted woodworking glue so loved by railway modellers worldwide. With ‘a dash of washing up liquid’ as mentioned in the railway modelling press since 1883.

Fresh Running Moonshine for Every Home

Fresh in from the land of the inch high. 

Might be worth avoiding the area due to road closures, for they’re digging up the road today to pop a new pipeline in, not for water, sewerage, gas or electricity, but for moonshine. 

The new initiative, under the watchful eye of Barry Bullhead from The Ministry of Mayhem has come in to connect all properties to fresh running moonshine by the end of the decade. 

The target, as with most government plans will almost certainly not be met, they never are of course, so priority is being given to licensed properties, starting with The Miners Arms. 

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Stunt Double for Fred Dibnah

 

Here we are again deep in The Forest and another rogue engine has appeared, this one being from Ipswich, an unremarkable town in the far east of Little England. 

Waving Willy notices that Bob Geeza has taken up residence on the engine, Bob of course loving a bit of heat, even on a hot summer day, though it looks like it might storm soon. But as regular followers of this nonsense will know, Bob’s appearance is usually an indication of something more nefarious. 

Meanwhile Fred, who is a part time stunt double for the world renown steeplejack Fred Dibnah, is waiting the fill up the engine. But not with water, the tender has a secret partition allowing it to carry several gallons of moonshine, the real reason for its appearance so far from home. 

📷Pentax Spotmatic, 50mm Zeiss Jena Tessar, Ilford Delta 100. 

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Zorki 4

Another camera from my collection. A 1962 vintage Zorki 4 wearing a 35/2.8 Jupiter 12. 

I bought it in Poznan, Poland from a street market vendor back in 1994 whilst out there chasing working steam locomotives on regular trains. Which means I’ve owned it for just under half its life. 

The lens was from some Soviet collector’s camera shop in Sydenham the following year. 

All fully working too. It’s had a couple of films through it this year. The lens is stellar even wide open. 

The thing on the top is a modern wide angle viewfinder, the in camera viewfinder only being suitable for a standard lens. 

I have an original auxiliary rotating viewfinder, but this is more practical in that it takes up less space. Is brighter and doesn’t get knocked in to displaying the wrong focal length. 

Farnham Railway Station. April 2025. Foma 100

Bristol Docks. March 2025. Foma 200 

The Middle of Frigging Nowhere Friday

Almost 1000 feet up in the Mendip Hills near Priddy, there’s a disused boiler house which used to serve the lead mining industry. An old railway still runs up to it, but it’s been many years since it last saw action. Until today. 

In the brown coat, Barry Bullhead from The Ministry of Mayhem runs a moonshine side hustle along with several other dodgy activities - something that will be familiar to those who’ve followed my load of old tosh for some time. 

And to the right Peter Peckett and his waving sidekick Waving Wally have successfully managed to traverse the old steeply graded line, and with Barry Bullhead are checking out the old boiler house as a potential location for the next moonshine production run. 

Bob Geeza Cat is of course here, he always appears when there are nefarious activities in inch high land. 

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Boats, Beer. Wibble

“You come over here in your boats and expect to be put in to the best catteries, kennels and zoos...."

“No, we’ve just popped over to your side of the canal for a pub crawl, any recommendations? Ideally ones that don’t sell Doom Bar or beers that look like custard and taste of grapefruit…”

Cattle Class

We’ve not had Monochrome Monday for a while, so here we go. 

Here we are at the tiny rather ramshackle halt at Brew Street. Rumour has it, that it’s made from the remains of a tea clipper that ran aground off Flat Holm in the Bristol Channel many many years ago. Though others say that it’s made from old railway sleepers, however the first story is more interesting, oven though the latter is more believable. 

The little train is an example of 4th Class (aka ‘Cattle Class’), something that was a option back in olden times. It will of course be familiar with present day budget airline users on their way to the Mediterranean for that ‘all inclusive’ holiday. You know, the one an ‘English menu’ (“we don’t want none of that foreign muck”) and with loads of screaming feral kids urinating in the hotel pool making the water go green. The parents often have ‘Ingerland’ tattooed on their foreheads back to front, because they did it themselves looking in the mirror. 

I digress, for here we have Bob Geeza Cat looking on rather jealousy at Rufus Hound getting all the attention from Neil (though it might be Neal, they look very similar, especially in black and white). 

Barry Bullhead is chatting to Arthritic Arthur about cycling, having just seen him labouring putting his bicycle next to the smokebox door. It turns out that Barry wants to start cycling having recently had a health scare, and is asking Arthur about fluorescent yellow tight fitting Lycra so popular with late middle aged warrior bicyclists of modern times. 

But of course, Lycra has yet to be invented, so suggests he chats to Nasal Nigel about where he gets his latex wear and rubber coat with the ‘special pocket’ - something much sought after in the bus-spotting fraternity. 

And finally, this pic was taken on traditional B&W film - Ilford FP4 on a steam era Pentax Spotmatic with a 28mm lens. So there. 

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Super’D’elicious!

Deep in The Forest of Dean, there’s much excitement at Fountain Colliery this morning with the overnight surprise arrival of one of Little Lostock Hall shed’s ‘Super D’ goods engines, number 49451. 

Its arrival is most likely an administrative error, something that regular readers of this nonsense will be quite familiar with I’m sure. 

A lot of railway modellers suffer ‘administrative errors’ with their locomotive rosters apparently, especially TMD owners who have to have every sound fitted Class 37, irrespective of era, manufacturer and/or shed allocation. 

I digress, for here there’s a bit of competition as to who is going to crew the engine, with Fred and Neil having a kneeling competition to see who can kneel the longest without blinking. 

Over to the right, Jim and Doug are seeing who can stand still the longest, something that shouldn’t be an issue being made of resin, but it does mean that the competition could last days, weeks, or even years - unless I knock or shake the baseboard to force a conclusion. 

Meanwhile with all the competitive distraction, Waving Weginald has crept up on to the engine and is slowly reversing the locomotive out of shot. 

What happens in The Forest, stays in The Forest. 

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Friday Frolicking

We’ve not seen Hubert the Conversational Latin Speaking Horse for a while, but here he is back in action after being craned onto the short train of jollity. 

The annual works outing is always a fun affair, with plenty of antics which will almost certainly be frowned upon by today’s elf and safety hi-vis clad jobsworths. But once the train is moving there will be little they can do, for following the train will require a risk assessment in triplicate, 9 months strategic planning - and of course 14 years of prior consultation. 

Meanwhile, local toffs Anne and Camilla are here to join in the fun, especially seeing horses and booze are involved.

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Marked Safe from The Great Train Bothering

 

None of the inch high went to The Great Train Bothering in Derby over the weekend. They were too busy doing a little track maintenance. Or at least contemplating it. 

Here we have Shrewsbury shed’s wandering ‘coal tank’ in charge of a rake of hoppers arriving with some fresh ballast to be packed around the sleepers. Care needs to be taken, for most of them are supposedly rotten. But we don’t worry about such minor detail in inch high land, for rumour is that the sleepers are in fact fine, being moulded plastic and come from a small seaside town in Devon. 

Derek and Clive on the left are preparing to spring in to action to assist the activities, but will likely head to the pub when they work out that the engineering isn’t at all necessary due to the track and ballast being glued down solid. 

Bob Geeza Cat is doing his best to balance the scene, and isn’t really the nefarious feline mastermind that we’ve all been led to believe. He’s simply an opportunistic poser. But I think many of you have known this for years. 

And finally, Freddy the Flag, strangely enough has never waved his flag, it being solidly moulded to his right leg, due to him like the sleepers, also being made of plastic. 

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Wandering Coal Tank

 

Shrewsbury shed’s wandering ‘coal tank’ has turned up again at Fountain Colliery deep in The Forest. 

It arrived overnight, driven by a mystery crew who are nowhere to be seen. Though it’s quite likely that they’re in The Miners Arms nearby having snuck in at closing time for the unusual Friday night ‘lock in’. The legendary lock-in attracts drinkers from far and wide, and sometimes even wider. 

The loco needs to be moved, or at least be made use of seeing it still appears to have a good head of steam despite being unattended for several hours. Most mysterious, any thoughts on this are most welcome. 

Meanwhile Barry Bullhead from The Ministry of Mayhem is chatting to Douglas and Dougie to see if they know anything about driving steam engines. They don’t sadly, their specialty is simply digging holes, being former champion gravediggers. 

Bob Geeza Cat says that he can help, he being a very clever cat, but all Barry, Douglas and Dougie can hear is “meow, meow, meooooowww, meow, meeeoooowwwww” 🐾

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Polbrook Gurney Colliery in 2025

A few people have asked what Polbrook Gurney Colliery is like these days. Well, here we have a view taken from the rear of The Pedant & Armchair which is now a private dwelling, the pub having closed in 1988 after the landlord was arrested and jailed for locking up bus and trainspotters in the pub cellar often for weeks on end.

Drinkers were alerted by the smell coming up through the floorboards in the public bar, not helped by the fact that many of the incarcerated were quite smelly even before their incarceration. 

Though many of the regulars were fully behind the landlord at the time, they also being somewhat irritated by the constant squealing nasal voices that many ‘spotters have, but the stench became too much for even the most loyal of cider swilling bar flies. 

The colliery, the last to close in the Somerset coalfield in 1986 somehow has avoided demolition, partially due to plans for it to become a mining museum similar to that of The National Coal Mining Museum of Little England near Wakefield and The Big Pit in Little Wales. 

Though to date, apart from a few false starts, nothing has happened other than running a few demonstration trains, but sadly the buildings require millions to make safe. However it is a popular location for moonshining activities, with the long arm of the law deeming any raids far too dangerous.

Monday Madness

 

It’s not generally known that the Highbridge line closed for a week in the early 1950s. This was due to an administrative error at HQ in that there London due to some faceless civil servant minion ticking the wrong box on some paperwork. In olden times such errors were frequent, much of it being due to the chaos caused by the aftermath of WW2.

However the little people weren’t going to suffer without a rail service, for no alternative bus service had been provided or for that matter even been thought of. More active communities keen to keep their rail service would frequently borrow an ancient engine from the local museum to keep trains running. 

In olden times most town museums had an ancient engine in fully working order just in case. It could be borrowed for up to 3 weeks using a library or ration card. You could also borrow wagons and passenger carriages too, but failure to return on time could result in a 1d fine per day - that I believe is around 25p in today’s money, but I’m happy to be corrected. 

Here we are at Catcott Crossing as such a train blasts through with a healthy head of steam helped more than a little by moonshine drenched steam coal. 

Regulars of these posts will notice triplets Waving Wayne, Waving Wally and Waving Willy cheering the reinstatement of their rail service. Several of you I know have been missing Bob Geeza Cat and will be pleased to see his appearance on the locomotive tender. 

And finally, it’s believed that The Titfield Thunderbolt Ealing Comedy was inspired by activities such as this on the Highbridge line, but of course that might just be complete nonsense.

Black Five Thursday

 Black Five Thursday 

As far as I know, Bath shed’s ‘Black Five’ 45440 never worked the Highbridge line, or any of the other ‘Fives’ for that matter. 

But it would appear otherwise, this photograph at Catcott being proof. But with ‘control’ being far far away, it’s probably completely unofficial, with the rostered engine in fact being a ‘Jinty’ or something similar. 

That’s Beryl’s supercharged Austin 7, and even at 95 she’s still a bit of a goer, Beryl that is, not the car quite so much which keeps blowing its head gasket. 

I’m not sure where Beryl is in this photo, but she does like a man with a big hot sweaty steamy locomotive, so is probably on the footplate.

Go Beryl, the original ‘brat granny’!

Fermentation Friday

 Fermentation Friday

Friday morning, Barry and Norman chat about last night’s saucy adult film about garden gnomes which was shown in the back room of The Miners Arms before turning their attention as to where to perform the next moonshine run. 

Meanwhile sacks of potatoes disguised and bagged coal have arrived for the latest moonshine batch which is going to be fermented over the weekend before distilling next week. The forecast hot weather will almost certainly result in a quick fermentation for sure. 

Meanwhile, Bob Geeza Cat takes in the morning fumes whilst sitting on a bag of potatoes, I mean coal.

Festival Station

 Had the former Somerset & Dorset Joint Railway network not closed in 1966, this could have been a photo from more recent times on the Highbridge branch. 

Stopping at:

Evercreech Junction

Pylle

Festival (only open during the Glastonbury Music Festival)

West Pennard

Glastonbury & Street

Ashcott

Shapwick 

Catcott Burtle Halt

Edington

Bason Bridge 

Highbridge

Passport to The Forest

 

The Miners arms is right on the boundary of the Forest of Dean, and in the last few hours has become a tax free principality like that of Somerset. This has the advantage of allowing legal moonshine production and the mining of beautiful steam coal much to the irritation of the suits in Whitehall.

Here we have Harry and his Hunslet passing the newly set up customs point on their way into the colliery to collect a few wagons of freshly mined ‘black diamond’. Though the engine appears to be burning something low grade like Nasal Nigel’s underwear

Under the watchful eye of pipe smoking Locksmith (who is smoking something special created in his huge tropical greenhouse) and Barry Bullhead from the Ministry of Mayhem, they check over the temporary barriers marking the boundary. 

George the landlord of the pub has popped out with a wheel barrow to collect the toll monies, something that they hope to be plentiful, with gold and precious stones being the preferred currency 

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Summer Solstice at Stonehenge

It's 4.52 am and the little people celebrate finishing the 'Stone Henge' on the day of the Summer Solstice, and as you can see, it's a bit of a rush job with broken and misshapen stones. It was also built too small due to an error interpreting the plan due to the plan being in metres and confused with feet. 

Personally I think that was means of cutting costs, hoping that ‘nobody will notice’, though tourists are frequently heard saying “oh, it’s a lot smaller than I thought it might be”. 

But sadly now the railway has no further use, so it will shortly be turned in a new road called 'The A303' - though something more glamorous like 'Highway to the Sun' would be nicer, with it likely to be a popular holiday route to the West Country - especially with traffic queue fanatics and caravan fanciers from Bedfordshire called Malcolm and Doris.

Downgraded HS2

With The Ministry of Mayhem yet again downgrading HS2 with a plan to make it run slower, trials are underway with motive power and rolling stock. All secondhand of course to further save costs which can then be passed on to shareholders and other investors. 

The consist here will be able to run over land where the railway hasn’t even been built, the tractor making easy work of farmland and narrow country lanes as well as allowing street running in urban areas. 

Only a small carriage will be required, because high ticket prices will be far too expensive for the proletariat. But that doesn’t matter, because the initial target passenger demographic now work from home anyway.

Freddy the Flag

Harry Hunslet and his trusty loco pauses briefly at the end of the line by the pithead to collect an old mineral wagon still displaying a rather faded ‘Northern United’ livery. It must be a good twenty years since it last had a lick of paint, though British Railways have popped their number on it to display their now ownership. 

On the buffer beam, Bob Geeza Cat is taking advantage of the heat from the engine on what is a chillier than normal early June morning. But once the clouds clear it will warm up, for there is a heatwave forecast for the weekend. Bob like all cats loves a heatwave. 

In front of the engine. Freddy the Flag who comes from Wales is fairly new to the railway having learned his flag waving skills walking in front of cars to make sure that they go no faster than walking pace. But he fancied a change, so now works on the railway doing much the same, but none of the locomotive crews pay any attention to him. So with this in mind he’ll likely head back to Wales where there is quite a shortage due to the increase in car ownership and the high mortality rate of traffic calming flag wavers. 

📷 Pentax Spotmatic, 28mm Tamron lens, Ilford FP4 film. 

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