Whimsy Pit - New Layout!!

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A summery morning at Whimsy Pit, a little known colliery on the North Somerset coast. 

Being next to the sea, it’s a bit of a wet mine, so the water pumps have to work quite hard, they being operated by small children deep underground on tread wheels. On really wet days the children are fed with blue Smarties to make them more productive. 

This is quite common in Little England where TikTok has yet to be used as a means of keeping children fit. But miniaturisation will no doubt change this in due course, with silly dancing replacing the tread wheels, though they’ll still be allowed blue Smarties as a special treat after Sunday school. 

Quite a few coal mines extend under the sea especially in the northeast of Little England, so this isn’t unusual, but it’s the only one to do so in the Somerset coal field, this being the western extremity which extends under the Bristol Channel. 

Meanwhile an ex GWR pannier tank has just dropped off a wagon to collect what little coal is mined here, which makes one wonder just how profitable the tiny mine really is. But rumour has it that the coal has a high concentration of treacle, copper, lead and other rare earth minerals making it much sought after by sponge pudding and treacle tart manufacturers as well as the plumbing, pharmaceutical, and science industry. 

Treacle is of course a bi product of the sugar refining industry, but this naturally occurring version is thought to be far superior, especially when mixed in with coal, lead, copper and other minerals. 

Meanwhile Deliberation Dave and Bob Geeza Cat are looking over at Ivan Locksmith who is standing on the wagon loading platform, they’re wondering what he’s up to, Ivan being midway though smoking something exotic that he’s grown in his giant greenhouse that rivals the one at Kew Gardens. 

Why Ivan is here I’m not sure sure, but he’s probably after a lump or two of the ‘special coal’ to grind up and mix with some of his ‘special’ herbs that he grows. 

And finally, the sidings here can get quite boggy, they being just a few feet above sea level, so it’s not unknown for them to occasionally flood during a high water spring tide making it quite a haven for wildlife and lost shoes. 

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3i/Atlas Meets Dr Pooh & The Turdis

There’s been a lot of talk about 3i/Atlas from the planet Zob in the news recently. 

There’s been much speculation about what it could be, a comet, a giant alien tuna and mayo baguette, a missing WW2 aircraft carrier, the Titanic, an MP that’s not self serving, an interesting part Bedfordshire (nah, that’s beyond ridiculous) , or simply a lump of rock floating aimlessly through space. 

But now we finally know, it was a locomotive used for experimentation in the 1960s Space Race, which after 60 or so years bouncing around in lower space orbit has finally re-entered the Earth atmosphere and landed here on Brew Street, it looking rather battle scarred from the extreme heat. 

Should anyone ask, that’s Dr Pooh with his budget ‘Tardis’ called ‘The Turdis’ on the roof. Unlike the Tardis, it’s far far far far far smaller on the inside than the outside. It’s rumoured thar Nissan based their ‘Juke’ SUV on the concept, but with some minor exterior restyling. 

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Strange Noises at Night

Here we have a modern day view near the former Polbrook Gurney Colliery as a Freightliner Class 66 trundles towards the camera with a cement train past the side of what was The Pedant & Armchair pub. 

The pub closed shortly after the closure of the colliery in 1975, Polbrook Gurney Colliery being the last of the North Somerset Collieries outliving the more well known Writhlington Pit by just a few months. 

Curiously a line still runs into the former colliery which closed half a century ago, that’s it disappearing off to the right. It appears to be well maintained too, but its purpose is a bit of a mystery, for even Network Rail don’t know why they have to maintain it in fully working order, for no trains are ever seen or diagrammed. 

Locals to the area say that from time to time in the small hours during the winter that they hear the clanking of coal trucks and the toot of an engine whistle. But nobody has ever seen anything. 

Only the other night such noises were heard again, so a couple of former regulars from The Pedant & Armchair went to investigate, but as soon as they got close, the noises stopped. 

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Crabtree Lane - New Layout

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An idyllic country railway scene at Crabtree Lane as the 11.04am Wadebridge to Bodmin General pauses to pick up a few passengers. 

To the left, Toby and Timothy eye up a tray of moonshine that’s been left in exchange for a tank load of Super and a stale pasty. Though it was pointed out that the owner could have run his car on moonshine. 

Celebrated average photographer Ivan Locksmith stands next to his Bentley to watch the train come through. He’s quite frustrated in that he’s run out of film, for it would have made a lovely photograph. 

Meanwhile over on the platform, Red Rachel from the Ministry of Misery accounts department is looking at the former station pub which is now a private dwelling due to tax rises making the business unviable. 

This is another tick in the Ministry of Misery’s quest to get rid of all pubs by this time next year. Next her thoughts will turn towards reintroducing the window tax for former pubs and in due course also greenhouses that produce homegrown food for the domestic market. 

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This is a scene from a new garage sized railway I’m currently working on. Photos may occasionally appear, or maybe not. 

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Dearest Knows Best

There was plenty of snow overnight at Windmill Sidings, as a positively gleaming engine appears to collect a short train-load of Brussels sprouts. For Christmas cometh, and the inch high need to start boiling their sprouts so they’re ready for Christmas dinner which is now less than 3 weeks way.

I’ve seen quite a few people using aye eye to create winter scenes with their model railway photos. But none of that nonsense here, what you see it a good dusting of bicarbonate of soda sieved over everything. At a push, flour works too, but bicarbonate of soda clumps a little and can even have a light sparkle if you get the lighting right. It’s whiter too, much like a set of Turkish choppers so loved by reality TV stars.

Obviously don’t run trains over it, and vacuum off after taking any photos, for it gets in to everything and you certainly wouldn’t want it in your engine’s gubbins.

Dearest said that I didn’t need to return the bicarb’ to the larder after use, for the addition of static grass fibres and other scenic materials wouldn’t be great for cooking with. Dearest knows best.

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