Saturday Satire

Click to enlarge 

Here we are deep in The Forest outside The Miners Arms, and as part of a special joint scientific test, officially requested by The Ministry of Madness and The Department of Smog, loco crew Harry Hunslet and Smokey Sid are seeing how black they can make the surrounding skies by burning dried peat dredged up from the forest bogs. Of which there are many. 

It’s all part of a plan to make the world darker, more miserable and colder to offset climate change. If successful, the railways will rather than eliminate steam, start building new locomotives especially designed to run on the lowest grade smokey coal possible, rubber tyres, discarded socks and underwear previously worn by teenage boys and old men who collect bus numbers. 

Electric milk floats will be converted to run on neat crude oil, and everyone with a garden or back yard (if from the grim north) will by law be forced to burn their rubbish, especially plastic waste every Sunday. 

And finally, refuse collection will now only happen 3 times a year, or every 3 years if in Birmingham. 

~~~👀~~~

Pentax Spotmatic, 28mm Tamron Adaptall lens, Ilford FP4. 

Film and processing fund.… www.buymeacoffee.com/Nevardmedi3

The Watercress Spring Steam Gala on Film

 

A few shots at Ropley Saturday 26th April at The Watercress Spring Steam Gala. 

 

These events are always busy, so rather than avoid people in the photos, I decided embrace them rather than trying the almost impossible task of trying to exclude them, which to be honest if successful, would simply make the photos look like everyone else's, that being what 99% of trainspotting snappers want to achieve.

 

Looking back at my photography from 40 or so years ago, at the time I generally used to try to avoid people in photos, but with hindsight, the ones with people to me are now the most interesting. Sadly Brits have an obsession with gaudy fake coloured synthetic fibres, spandex and sports attire, but shooting black and white film at least goes some way to hiding such vulgarities. 

This set was taken with a 1960s vintage Mamiya C33 twin lens reflex camera and an early 1970s Pentax Spotmatic 2 using Kentmere 400 for the 6x6cm medium format photos, and Ilford FP4 for the 35mm ones, all processed at home in 510 Pyro from Zone Imaging.

 

Click each image to enlarge.

 

 

A Dual Duel!

 “Oh I say, a duel, how very sporting!” mutters Arthritic Arthur as he staggers off the engine furthest away, “2 engines verses a single steamroller, I think we might have an unfair advantage, hey ho!”

Meanwhile Bob Geeza Cat and Rufus Hound are having their very own duel which involves simply staring at each other, the first to blink will lose the chance to win a churn of rich Devon cream. 

Pic. Pentax Spotmatic, 28mm lens. Ilford FP4. 1/4 sec f22.

Part Time Conspiracy Theorists

 

Wednesday morning and ‘Jinty’ 47276 slowly propels a rake of 16 ton mineral wagons under the aggregate loading screen. It’s a slow old process, but needs must and all that. 

Grey suited, hard hatted aggregate inspectors and part-time conspiracy theorists, Billy Nut and Tony Job, are discussing the need for all the aggregate and where does it all go. 

Billy is convinced that the crushed yellow stone is ground up in to a powder and put in to cheddar cheese as colouring and to add that crunch to vintage cheddar. 

Toby Job’s theory is that the finely ground stone is dumped in to the upper atmosphere for the rain to bring down “it’s a ploy you know, set up by car wash industry to boost trade, especially with those who own a black car”. 

And so he continues “Colour film manufacturers are also behind it, because all that yellow dust makes for more spectacular sunsets, and is good for colour film sales. If ever you go to a camera club, 94% of all photographs in the weekly competition are sunsets, with only the remaining 6% being taken up with flower closeups”.

Mellow Yellow

 British Rail for years have been trying to dispose of their scruffy yellow Ruston PWM, but it’s a bit like a cockroach and won’t go away despite intentional complete lack of maintenance in the hope that it will expire gracefully. However it will likely even outlive the omnipresent Bob Geeza Cat who must appear in most shots posted here, even though security have been trying to catch him for years. 

So here we are in The Forest Of Dean and it would appear that the Ruston has joined the fleet of decrepit engines that serve Fountain Colliery. Despite a huge discount to attract a buyer, in the end British Rail had to pay for the colliery to take charge of it. 

BR even threw in an old ballast brakevan used on the dreaded weekend engineering trains as a thank you. Whilst the colliery railway will have little use for the brake van, I’m sure the local hooch producers will find it a useful place to install a moonshine still. 

What happens in The Forest, stays in The Forest. Hush hush.

Bus Replacement Narrowboat Service

 

Here we are on a lovely Saturday morning, and it’s time for weekend engineering works, something which most know has been enshrined law since 1883. 

The regular rail replacement bus is in the workshop, so a narrowboat has been called in to action to cover for the bus, which is lucky, for the old coal canal runs parallel to much of the railway. Though there might not be a great deal of space with all the casks and barrels. 

However, the nautical rail/bus replacement service should prove popular, for the local moonshiners are also onboard producing their latest boozy tincture. Samples and sales will almost certainly be available for those travelling by boat today, something which is guaranteed to eliminate any minor discomfort caused by the cramped conditions. 

And finally, you can be assured that Double Denim Dancing Dando will put on some high energy entertainment with some magnificent tap dancing - all to the time the narrowboat engine…. Kerdunk kerdunk kerdunk kerdunk….

~~~👀~~~

Enjoy these posts? Go on, go on.… www.buymeacoffee.com/Nevardmedi3

Cold War Disinformation

At an unknown location, quite possibly somewhere along the Thames Valley, a short passenger train catches the evening light sometime in the early 1960s. 

Note the long welded rails. Such permanent way inspired PECO to produce their revolutionary flexitrack, so popular with model railway builders, track mat and locomotive fiddlers worldwide to this day, and probably well in to the future, and maybe even beyond. 

The more nasally afflicted will notice and want to squeal out that the signal box is displaying that of ‘Highley Signal Box’, which of course is nowhere to be found in the Thames Valley. 

In Cold War years, much like in WW2, such antics were often carried out to confuse attempts at espionage. It would also flummox railway workers who thought they’d turned up for their shift in the wrong place. Okay, that bit might not be true.