Dearest Knows Best

There was plenty of snow overnight at Windmill Sidings, as a positively gleaming engine appears to collect a short train-load of Brussels sprouts. For Christmas cometh, and the inch high need to start boiling their sprouts so they’re ready for Christmas dinner which is now less than 3 weeks way.

I’ve seen quite a few people using aye eye to create winter scenes with their model railway photos. But none of that nonsense here, what you see it a good dusting of bicarbonate of soda sieved over everything. At a push, flour works too, but bicarbonate of soda clumps a little and can even have a light sparkle if you get the lighting right. It’s whiter too, much like a set of Turkish choppers so loved by reality TV stars.

Obviously don’t run trains over it, and vacuum off after taking any photos, for it gets in to everything and you certainly wouldn’t want it in your engine’s gubbins.

Dearest said that I didn’t need to return the bicarb’ to the larder after use, for the addition of static grass fibres and other scenic materials wouldn’t be great for cooking with. Dearest knows best.

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Raquel from Accounts

Racy Raquel from the accounts department loves a puffing steamy locomotive, and even more those who crew such hot throbbing machines of slimy oil, greasy metal and sweaty steam, whilst dripping hot fluids from every joint. 

Bob Geeza Cat is really taken with Raquel, and has even ordered his personal catering department to turn up with some fishy treats to tempt her. Though potted fermented herring heads in aspic understandably might not be her thing. 

Deliberation Dave, doesn’t really understand girls, for ‘Mother’ warned him about such creatures, so he concentrates on his note book, anything to avoid eye contact. Mother, it turns out doesn’t want him to leave home, even though he’s turning 63 in the new year. 

Then something very strange happened…..

 

👽

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Elimination of the Internal Combustion Engine

And here we are under the watchful misguided eye of Barry Bullhead from the Ministry of Mayhem testing out more crazy ideas to supposedly increase productivity and misery. 

They’re also testing out using animals in a move to eliminate internal combustion engines as part of making a greener planet as well as making the billionaires even richer. 

In the unlikelihood of this being successful, there are plans afoot for passengers to pull their own trains, starting with the more northerly parts of HS1.9 which is currently under construction. 

Back to the photo; Hubert the conversational Latin speaking horse is very strong indeed, and can easily pull the load (see the video below), but whilst double height container trains aren’t unknown, bridges or tunnels could be just the start of many issues.  

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Leading the way with methane powered trains

 

Today in the land of the inch high they’re trying out a new gas turbine train on a remote branch line to test out the tilting mechanism on tight curves. 

It’s to be initially rolled out in rural areas so it can make use of farmyard methane, of which there can be plenty. It will also be used on inch high London services and will be fuelled by inch high Westminster guff (which is 99% methane), with most major inch high termini having a direct pipeline to Parliament and other inch high governmental buildings. 

In due course inch high local government offices will also be linked by gas pipeline to larger provincial railway stations. 

If successful, methane powered trains could rolled out in N gauge as well as O gauge and possibly TT. S gauge is unlikely due to complete lack of demand, and Z gauge due to engineering limits. 

OO gauge inch high Little England leads the way!!! Hurrah!

Parp💨

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USA Tank

 Quite what one of Southampton Dock’s ‘USA tanks’ is doing at Polbrook Gurney Colliery I’ve no idea. But that’s one of the joys of model railways in that you can bend history, time, place  and view things through those rose tinted spectacles. Actually that’s an odd phrase, I’ll need to Google it. 

The very functional looking engine does look at home in this industrial landscape, and I gather in real life at least one ended up being owned by The National Coal Board. 

Note the old Northern United wagon, but now with British Railways numbering due to nationalisation. This wasn’t unusual in olden times with wooden wagons being scrapped and replaced with steel ones, money wasn’t wasted on repainting.

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T’ Grim North

Old wheezing 17 takes the grade on some remote line in T’ Grim North with a rake of loaded coal trucks destined for some miserable impoverished northern town or city. 

The coal won’t be burned, but is part of the ‘five a day’ in that northern diet which often consists of wholesome things like iron railings, cardboard, hessian, soot and warm stale mild ale.

Meanwhile there appears to be a banking engine on the rear. But this is not actually the case, the guard is having a barbecue on the veranda of the brake van, the hessian steaks giving off a good amount of smoke as they always do when seasoned with soot and used sump oil. 

With apologies to those in T’ Grim North. 

~~~🔥~~~

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Randy Andy

Click to enlarge

Working from left to right, new kid on the block Benny is rolling oak casks of moonshine about, he does this a couple of times a week as part of the ageing process. Quite why they haven’t been stolen I’ve no idea, but the note with Thames Water stamped on to the side has probably put thieves off. 

Bob Geeza Cat is inspecting his weekly delivery of Devon cream, potted pilchards, tinned herrings and desiccated fish hooves (I’ve never heard of such either) from posh pet food suppliers Fishgut & Kibble. 

Beryl, our favourite racy 95 year old hell-raising granny has arrived to help Bob take his luxury goodies back to her lovely warm country cottage. Bob has many homes, and is currently residing with Beryl because she’s the only member of the inch high with central heating and very expensive soft furnishings. Though quite why Fishgut & Kibble didn’t deliver directly to Beryl’s cottage I’ve no idea. 

And finally, Beryl has a new humble man servant who can take care of all her needs, he’s simply called ‘Andrew’ and rumour has it until recently had royal connections. She found him wandering in the woods, apparently homeless, so has taken him in on trial as her new ‘man who can’. We all know that Beryl loves a man who can, especially if younger than herself and with a slightly randy reputation, though he might have other ideas.  

~~~👀~~~

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Cat and Dog Fish

Click to enlarge 

Here we are and Shrewsbury engine shed’s roaming Webb ‘Coal Tank’ is back at Fountain Colliery pushing a few ballast hoppers around, these particular ones being called ‘Dogfish’. 

There’s also another similar type known as ‘Catfish’, quite how the designers and engineers came up with the names I’m not so sure. Though in those far off times all sorts of powerful opiates were readily available over the counter from the local chemist, so that might be something to do with things. 

And finally, for the photoholics, this is an analogue capture, with the smoke also taken on film being borrowed from a full sized chuffer on The Watercress Line back in the spring. Pentax Spotmatic, 50mm/2.8 Carl Zeiss Jena Tessar. 1/4 sec at f22. Ilford Delta 100.

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Chicken Dinner for One

Lick to enlarge. Wipe screen after. 

On Saturdays the inch high regularly come out on mass to witness passing rail tours of which there are many, this Saturday being no exception. 

The SLS aka Slow Locomotive Society are running this trip for lonely single late middle aged men and socially challenged boys who can’t get a girlfriend. But girls have yet to be invented, so this is no surprise to be fair. 

Without these jaunts around the rail network many of them would never leave the house, with many living in attic rooms and cellars, often with only a Hornby track mat and a Fray Bentos tinned ‘chicken dinner for one’ for company. 

The locomotive today is an unremarkable 2-6-2 Class 2 tank engine, and even more so in that nobody could even be bothered to clean it, but at least the passenger carriages are slightly better that the usual mildew and urine smelling ones that normal for the branchline service. 

~~~👀~~~

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Clarks Shoes

Lick to enlarge. Wipe screen after 

Here we are in the middle of the week as Templecombe’s ex GWR Collett 3206 collects an empty mineral wagon from the short siding at Catcott. The wagon would have been full of coal mostly likely being used for heating moonshine stills. 

Due to the recent change of regional boundaries, with the line now being under the control of the Western Region of British Railways, increasingly ex GWR engines have been replacing former Midland ones for some time. This turn a few years ago would having likely been powered by a Midland 3F 0-6-0 tender locomotives, or ‘Bulldog’ as the old S&DJR crews used the call them. 

As usual Waving Willy is waving at the crew as they perform their task picking up and dropping off wagons along the route between Highbridge and Evercreech Junction. 

The box vans are destined for Glastonbury where they’ll be swapped with freshly loaded ones stacked to the brim with shoes from the famous Clarks shoe factory. That will be the last stop before Evercreech, for West Pennard and the delightfully named Pylle very rarely handle any goods these days. 

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"Misty Catcott Morning: Wally Waves, Brakevan Beds, and a Parched Allotment"

Click to enlarge 

It’s an atmospheric autumn morning at Catcott as the soft sunlight penetrates the gloom, but sadly wet weather is forecast, so it’s not likely to last. Still it will be good for the crossing keeper’s trackside allotment which has suffered due to an unusually dry summer. 

Waving Wally, though it might be Willy, Weggie or Waymond (it’s hard to tell, for they’re all identical) waves at the passing pick-up goods from Evercreech Junction. The train today is going as far as Highbridge Wharf, something that doesn’t happen too often these days due to very little commercial shipping not helped by the fact that harbour hasn’t been dredged in years. 

The train has two brakevans, the one here and course one on the rear of the train. This one next to the engine has a couple of ex army fold out beds in it and is regularly used by railway staff who’ve missed the last bus or train home after a rowdy boozy night in the local Wheeltappers Shunters. 

The only problem overnighting in the brakevan to sober up, you might find that you wake up a long way from home, especially if it’s been allocated to  long distance freight. Though you’d hope that the rostered guard would turf out any drunken snoozing interlopers. 

~~~👀~~~

Fujicolor 200

Nikon FE, Nikkor 35/2 

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None for the Road

Tap to enlarge. Sanitise screen after. 

It’s always fun and frolics on a Friday at Brew Street, as Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe returns from the pub to find his Triumph Roadser craned up on to some wooden ale casks as he mutters out loud “what an absolute shower!”

Terry really shouldn’t be driving after 8 large gin and tonics, even though in olden times such was thought to improve driving skills with vintage adverts for booze often having lines like ‘One for the road’ or ‘Try Mildred’s Tonic Wine, it will make you feel like you’re driving at 100 mph!’ or ‘Buy your husband Gilbey’s Special Driving Bitter, it will turn that long journey in to an absolute whirlwind!”  

But his fellow inch high colleagues, whilst they often appear to be up to all sorts of irresponsible shenanigans, do have some common sense, so for Terry and other’s safety, have made it difficult for him to drive away. 

And finally, with Terry’s well-being in mind, they’ll shortly send him back to the pub to sober up with a few halves of Watneys Red Barrel. 

~~~👀~~~

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Luxury Canal Cruise - with Dining

Tap to enlarge. Sanitise after. 

Here we are down at the canal, and Rufus Hound and Bob Geeza cat have won a luxury adventure canal cruise with dining for two, though the beaten up old dinghy might not be up to the expectation of ‘luxury’, but as we know, times are hard. 

The dining experience consists of luxury hampers from Fishgut & Kibble, the much sought after posh picnic supplier aimed at pampered pets. The boat trip adventure simply relies on wherever the current takes it, there being no obvious means of propulsion. 

Rufus gets to choose a suitable aperitif from a basket of liquid goodies which can consist of anything from fish bladder milkshakes to fermented cod eyeballs in herring blood - shaken, not stirred of course. 

Next will follow a couple of hampers full of all sorts of delights like potted shrimp bladders, fishtail pâté, Icelandic haddock gallbladder tartare, and maybe even minced shark intestine slow cooked in a blowfish stomach. This will all be washed down with a bottle or three of lightly sparkling vintage fish juices collected from the fish market at the end of trading during the summer heatwaves. Mmmm, delicious, you must agree. 

And finally, a little prayer is performed wishing Rufus and Bob a good trip and safe return, for the beaten up old dinghy has a habit of taking in water, especially when fully laden like here.

~~~👀~~~

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Horses Can’t Open Beer Bottles

Click to enlarge 

Hubert the conversational Latin speaking horse, looks up at Brian, and in Latin says “Thank you for the crate of beer, but being a horse, I struggle to open and hold a bottle with my hefty hooves, any chance of a long straw after you’ve opened them all for me?” But sadly Brian doesn’t speak Latin. 

Meanwhile over to the right, Neil is trying to attract the attention of Bob Geeza Cat. Bob, being a cat is obviously playing hard to get and making things tricky for Neil. Neil is a bit of a twit with very poor balance. Bob knows this 🐾

Meanwhile, Waving Wally in the distance is waving at Waving Weggie who is driving the engine today. But Weggie is looking the wrong way, so doesn’t know that Wally is trying the remind Weggie that he’s forgotten the freshly loaded wagons destined for Lydney Junction and beyond. 

Just another day of chaos in inch high little England. 

~~~👀~~~

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Hush Hush

Lick, poke or click to enlarge if you can be bothered. Sanitise screen after. 

The autumnal setting sun illuminates one of Bath shed’s Stanier 8F 2-8-0 locos which has arrived at Fountain Colliery to collect a fresh load of coal.

Large engines like this probably wouldn’t be used on the private colliery lines, but in inch high little England we don’t worry about such things too much. For I’m sure that most of us model railway nuts bend the rules a little in this respect, so we can include that favourite locomotive. 

I do think that it looks very much at home here, so will put it down to management discretion, something that probably did happen from time to time, but never officially recorded. Hush hush.

Fountain Colliery Micro Layout

Fountain Colliery regularly features here. And here’s what it looks like if you stand back a bit to see its mammoth 4ft by 1ft footprint. It can be connected to Brew Street and/or fiddle/staging yard. 

It’s all fully working and has built it photography grade compact fluorescent lighting (CFL) which gives a good illumination and far nicer colour rendering and brightness than LED tape.

It earns its keep being frequently used as a background for Kernow Model Rail Centre product photography, as well of course the inch high cameos here.

Traction Engine Tuesday

Traction Engine Tuesday or maybe 12 Inch to the Foot Tuesday. 

Okay, they’re not all traction engines, but I liked the word play. 

Okay, they’re not all traction engines, but I liked the word play. 

Here are few snaps off my 74 year old 1951 vintage Zeiss Nettar 518/16 taken at Steam at Work at the Rural Life Living Museum, Tilford a few weeks ago on Saturday 6 September 2025. And finally over weekend I developed and digitised the film for your enjoyment here. 

Being a bit of a fogey at heart, I enjoy keeping old things working, the ancient camera being an eBay find a couple of years ago from some chap on some remote Scottish island thinning out his collection. 

I know very little about ‘traction engines’, (or all steam locomotives). But I enjoy the smells and the chuffetty chuff chuff, toot toot and hissing sounds they make, for they appear to be very much a living thing. Though I doubt they have self awareness or could do the Sunday Times crossword. But even if they could, they probably wouldn’t be able to master a pencil or Biro so would have to rely on their ‘staff’ to do that bit. 

There I was there in a sea of mobile phones all shooting vertical video (what the £ is all that about, you don’t put your TV on its side, of maybe you do?) and digicams. People dressed in vulgar stretchy synthetic ‘leisurewear’ were double taking at my choice of vintage camera “Oohh, is that Box Brownie?” Or “my great great great great great great grandfather had one of those”. 

There should be dress code at such events, with only natural fibres being allowed, ideally just tweed, hessian and horsehair. Vegans would be allowed to wear cotton, but not in polo shirt or tee shirt form, and never with logos. 

Click images to enlarge…

Tomorrow, something different 🚂🚂🚂

Land Ahoy!!!!!

Tap to enlarge. Sanitise screen after. 

Here we are at Polbrook Gurney Colliery, and somehow or other a small coastal steamer has managed to make its way up the Somerset Coal Canal, despite it being wider and deeper than most of the canal, but we don’t worry about such minor detail in inch high little England. 

Our favourite moonshiners have been saving their pennies and bought an old Clyde Puffer steam freighter which will allow them to produce moonshine on the go as well as being able to store and distribute it all around the little British Isles an beyond. 

The still next to the cabin is just for test fermentation, however under that lengthy cover below the dinghy there’s a whole industrial sized production plant which takes heat from the ship’s steam engine. 

Over on the right, Waving Wally and local shifty busy business and ladies’ man Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe eagerly await the arrival with their Sentinel steam lorry for further inland distribution. 

And finally, the real stars of the show, Bob Geeza Cat and Rufus hound are discussing how the business can evolve even further, maybe even the American continent, but personally I’d never trust the cat 🐾

~~~🏴‍☠️~~~

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27 September 1825 - Locomotion No.1.

 Lick to enlarge - sanitise screen after 

To celebrate 200 years since the first public passenger and goods train ran on the 27th of September 1825 on The Stockton & Darlington Railway, Waving Willy and Bob Geeza cat have taken ‘Locomotion’ out for a spin in the colliery sidings. 

The locomotive is quite high maintenance, so Gary the Greaser is ready with a brush and bucket full of gunk which he has to apply every 7 minutes to all moving parts including Willy’s arm which is a little stiff at times. 

200 years ago, Locomotion and its train managed to get up to a hair raising 12 miles per hour, but today, because they won’t be pulling anything, they hope to double that with the addition of a little moonshine in the mix. 

Let’s all wish them luck with their quest! 🚂🚂🚂

🕶

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Hippies, Wannabe Druids & Scarecrows

Click to enlarge 

A quiet September day on the levels, as the 10.36 Highbridge to Evercreech Junction briefly pauses at Catcott halt before continuing on its lonely way. 

With my experience of the Somerset Levels, few people are ever seen, apart from lost hippies and wannabe druids trying to find King Arthur. You might also spot the occasional scarecrow wandering the lanes between jobs frightening crows, for scarecrowing is a popular pastime in these parts, with the bonus being that very little outlay is required clothing wise. In fact, scruffier the better. 

I’ve often thought that toy train enthusiasts, you know, the ones that you only ever see at railway shows could make good scarecrows, the attire being more than appropriate. Their skills scaring small children also being most useful. 

Genuine question, why do they always where a heavy winter soiled anorak and several layers even during a heatwave? Maybe it’s so they can hide that locomotive purchase from mother? 

I’m going down a dangerous wormhole, so back on track (see what I did there?)…..

These days of the line only see short trains, with one carriage usually being more than adequate for the few passengers. In fact railway enthusiasts usually outnumber regular passengers as they seek to ride the rails of lines soon to be closed. The parcels van is always well loaded with cider, cheese, Airfix kits and moonshine however. 

Anyway, I’d best get on an earn a crust. May you have a lovely Friday wherever you are.

🕶

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Roger Sprocket

Click to enlarge 

A repeat of a post from back in 2022, but looking at stats, few will have seen it first time around…. So, like a Sunday afternoon James Bond repeat, here we go again…..

Sunday morning on Combwich shed, and Roger Sprocket has been out polishing number 5 with his snotty and now greasy rag overnight. Roger is a very particular man and can think of nothing better than polishing things with his rag. 

That’s his Morris Minor, and as we can see it is in beautiful condition, Roger most treasuring the wipe-clean leather seats and curved green dashboard. The central large speedometer dial receiving the most attention because he can wipe his rag round and round in a circular motion for hours on end whilst making all sorts of steam engine noises to himself. Huff, puff, chuffetty chuff he goes…

Roger’s day job is working for the Ministry of Defence Film Unit, where he counts the sprocket holes along either side of 35mm motion picture film. He also checks the size and shape of the holes to be sure that they match the cameras used. He also checks the number of sprocket holes on the high speed 16mm film used for covert surveillance work, with the 400 foot rolls bringing him the most joy and pleasure. 

All this of course has to done in total darkness to avoid fogging the film, but Roger is an expert feeling things in the dark, he being brought up a locked cellar between the age of 4 and 21. Despite this, he still loves ‘mother’, she now living in the cellar instead of him. 

When he's not polishing engines or counting sprocket holes, he regularly meets up with Nasal Nigel to hang about at bus stations taking numbers. And as if this isn’t enough joy, next weekend Nigel will be taking Roger along to the local outfitters to help him choose a new mackintosh, you know, the one with the special pocket. 

🕶

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View from the Fiddle Yard Tuesday

Tap, click or lick for a bigger view. Wipe  screen after. 

Here we are at Catcott a few months after closure of the line and the contractors have arrived to dismantle the railway. 

Out of sight behind the engine are a couple of open wagons that will be used to cart away anything of value. Basically things made of metal. 

Freddy the Flag has just closed the gates, for what will be one of the last few times before they’re broken up and probably burned in the old goods yard along with the ground frame and anything else that is flammable. 

He then looks up at the cottage, hoping that it won’t be demolished, for it has really has lovely views of the big skies, flat watery meadows and moors. 

The railway van in the distance should have gone with the departure of the final goods train, but the local moonshiners are using it for storage, but it will need to be moved before the rails are taken up. But a suitable deal will no doubt be had with the contractors. 

And finally, as you’ll have worked out from the title, this is the view I get poking the camera through from the fiddle yard on full zoom, a little Canon G7x Mk2.

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Mabon aka Autumn Equinox

Click to enlarge. Wash hands after 

The Autumn Equinox greets High Vis Harry and Harry the Hammer at the start of their shift shunting the sidings at Fountain Colliery. Today being the day when the night is as long as the day, and the day is as long as the night, and occasionally in between the two. 

There’s definitely a feeling of autumn in the air as the early morning light takes hold, starting with what promises to be a spectacular sunrise. But here deep in The Forest, sunlight will take its time to climb though and over the trees. Red sky in the morning frequently isn’t a good sign weather wise for the rest of the day, but the weather forecast on The Home Service suggests otherwise - fingers crossed. 

Over at the Miners Arms, the kitchen light is on, indicating that Buxom Babs the landlady has the porridge underway in a huge copper pot. All sorts accompany the grains, stale beer, cider slops, pine needles, yesterday’s bread crusts, spiders (of which there are plenty here deep in the forest) and finally fat and bones left over from last night’s wild boar broth.

🍻

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Booze Running on the Glastonbury Canal

Click to enlarge. Wash hands after. 

 A mildly chaotic scene at Catcott, as a Glastonbury bound narrowboat helmed by Double Denim Dancing Dando grinds to a halt having somehow managed to get onto what remains of the Glastonbury Canal & Navigation near Highbridge. 

The canal closed in 1854 with the opening of the railway which was built along much of the old towpath. The canal having never made any money also suffered problems due to the surrounding peat lands and other drainage issues. A quick Google will reveal far more for students of such things. 

The narrowboat has a cargo of illicit Bristol Channel aged rum, it being used for covert transportation through the Somerset Levels. But the booze runners really should have researched the route prior, especially due to the canal closing a good century before and the many low bridges now crossing the route. However we must acknowledge their ingenuity getting the boat onto the canal in the first place. Possibly a 12 inch to the foot scale person was involved. 

As the 10.03am Evercreech Junction to Highbridge slows for Catcott, many of our inch high regulars can be seen amused by the sight of the stranded narrowboat and its dodgy cargo with Waving Willy shouting out, “it’s just like that film Whisky Galore!”

Rival moonshiners are on the bridge with their mobile steam powered still. They of course are most happy that this booze cruise onto their patch has been apprehended by nature, dereliction and stupidity. And as for Double Denim Dancing Dando working for a rival group of moonshiners, the chances are quite high that he’ll be dancing in the boggy canal after the boat is relinquished of its boozy cargo. 

And finally, you’ll, be pleased to see that Bob Geeza Cat is back taking control of things. Such a clever cat 🐾

~~~👀~~~

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Who Owns Rufus Hound?

Click to enlarge. Wash hands after. 

Farmer George and ‘oh dear boy’ Ivan Locksmith are having a heated discussion as to who actually owns Rufus Hound. Being a cheeky hound, it would appear he has adopted both George and Ivan as his owners. Though quite how Rufus gets away with things I’ve no idea, seeing he’s only with either for 40% of the time, the 20% being in transit between the two. But George is busy in the fields much of the time, and Ivan is usually stoned from smoking exotic ‘stuff’ grown in his huge tropical greenhouse which rivals that of the one at Kew Gardens. 

Meanwhile Bath shed’s 8F no. 48560 has just appeared to pick up an empty truck from the canal wharf siding. And for some reason a crew of three has been rostered - Pete, Dud and Derek. They’re tossing coins to see who gets the honour of sneaking off to the pub for a few hours, seeing they might as well make the most of the rostering error. 

And finally, Shamus and Harry the Hammer are negotiating a moonshine deal, but are distracted by the increasingly heated discussion of hound ownership between George and Ivan. 

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Dixie Minx & Mutton Geoff

Click to enlarge. Wash you hands after. 

Ivan Locksmith with his trusty Rufus Hound are on the platform at Culmstock waiting for their train to Hemyock. Ivan has some business there involving freshly churned butter and clotted cream with Dixie Minx who runs a country & western clothing shop in Hemyock. I’m not sure if it’s business in the conventional manner, but needs must, for times are hard in post war Little England. 

The train is arriving with just a single empty milk tank destined for the creamery in Hemyock, but the usual single passenger coach normally on the train has been replaced with a brakevan for some reason. But it’s only a few miles, so I’m sure Ivan and his trusty hound will cope. Anyway Ivan has his mind on churned butter and cream. 

Meanwhile Mutton Geoff, slightly hard of hearing former butcher watches the arrival of the shorter than usual 10am Tiverton Junction to Hemyock slow to a halt. 

Nobody really knows what Geoff’s job is on the railway, but he can always be found somewhere around the small station pottering about doing very little at any time of day or night gazing down at his small notebook he always has in his clutches. Like Geoff, the contents of the notebook are also a mystery. 

And finally, Bob Geeza Cat is still away.

 **OO**

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Brit Bottle Tops

 

Click to enlarge. Wash your hands after. 

Fun things to do with those Union Flag bottle tops to replicate modern day Little England…

You can use one to make a temporary mini roundabout without having to deface your layout. The one here having sprung up around midnight shortly after the pub closed. 

Turning the inch high folk around to face walls to represent them relieving themselves is another popular pastime, the pub having closed for the day for some reason. Other hobbies are available of course. 

Next we have the plague-masked bog roll steelers dancing around a multipack of ‘Luxury Scented Linen’ pinched from the local 7-11. The police are suggesting various dance moves they could perform to take their act to the next level. 

Okay, the police car is a bit vintage, but I don’t have anything more modern. 

And finally, Bob Geeza Cat is away, such a clever cat 🐾

 **OO**

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Off to Play the Slots in Burnham

Click to enlarge 

Here we are at Catcott, as the 10.07am Evercreech Junction to Combwich via Highbridge arrives. Although it’s only mid September, there’s quite a chilly brisk northerly breeze, the clag from the slowing engine being an indication of its strength as it blows down off Mendip. 

Awkward Teresa, Wee Nicola & Dizzy Lizzie are off for a day out playing the slots at Burnham on Sea, something they regularly do at weekends, usually followed by a few gins at the Royal Clarence Hotel. Though Wee Nicola will have a large glass or three of Buckfast wine, a popular tipple with those from north of the border. Allegedly. 

They’ll have to get a bus from Highbridge to Burnham, because whilst the railway still runs there, trains no longer use the line which will shortly be dismantled, for sadly the line finally closed on the 8th of September at the end of the summer timetable. Though even before that date, the regular passenger service ended in 1951 and was thereafter only used occasionally for holiday specials and goods. 

Since the Western Region took over control of much the former ‘Somerset & Dorset’, many of the old LMS and Midland engines have been replaced with those from the former Great Western. With today’s service being hauled by a Collett 0-6-0, number 3206 of Templecombe Shed. 

In tow is a relatively modern modern Hawksworth brake composite coach, and a bogie parcels van. The trio have splashed out on first class tickets I hasten to add, for these Hawksworth coaches are far more comfortable than the former LMS suburban coaches they’re replacing. 

And finally, Bob Geeza Cat is back from his short break in Bristol after accidentally falling asleep on the footplate for the Bristol goods a few days ago. 

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It’s all Bananas

The new even greener container train has only taken 14 days from Southampton Docks, travelling at less than walking pace with plenty of breaks and several horse changes. This was not helped by the rather convoluted route required to avoid bridges, the consist being rather out of gauge. 

Poor old Hubert, the much loved former conversational Latin speaking horse has found little use for his language skills since Britain formally became Little Britain, so has gone back to pulling things around, so sad for an old boy who is so clever and on the verge of retirement. 

But at least The Ministry of Mayhem’s green agenda has been given another tick, but sadly at the expense of the perishable fruit within the containers which is now well past its ‘best by’ date - it’s all bananas.

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Mirror on a Stick

A quiet Sunday over at Brew Street down by the canal. 

Very little is going on, not even the omnipresent cat is to be seen, something that is most unusual. But Bob Geeza Cat was spotted snoozing on the warm footplate of the Bristol goods yesterday, so it’s likely he’s ended up there for a few days. But I’m sure he’ll be back in due course. 

Meanwhile Cyril ‘Flange’ Cupcake-Smith is checking out the wheel flanges on his locomotive. He’s a bit obsessed with such, being the leading light in the fine scale section of The Bridgwater & District Model Railway & Pigeon Fanciers Society which has been flying strong since 1883. 

Cyril always carries a small ruler, measuring callipers and a mirror on a stick with him so he can check tolerances and clearances of almost everything he comes across, especially the underside of things. 

But only last week he was thrown off the bus after wanting to check the size of the bus ticket before buying one. It was during the rush hour, so one can understand the actions of the clippy, especially when Cyril got out his mirror on a stick to look up the conductor’s left trouser leg ‘to check clearances’. 

Cyril is married, something that might come as a surprise to many here. But it would appear that Mavis quite likes being poked with his measuring callipers on Sunday mornings before church. Ooohh, saucy…..

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The National Moonshine Grid

Back on the 23rd of August, I wrote about the new directive from The Ministry of Mayhem to install fresh running moonshine to every property in Little England. 

Pubs have been prioritised, because most will close within the next 5 to 10 years, and it’s hoped it will give them a little extra life along with their ageing customer base who also have a similar life expectancy. 

Such a huge project will take decades, and will likely be scrapped by forthcoming governments due to future cultural changes and running over budget (Gen Z preferring vapes, TikTok and drugs to pubs and booze supposedly). 

Here we are outside The Pedant & Armchair, the sort of pub popular with a certain demographic, and the first of the expert team of installers have arrived to start the all important work. 

Shortly the road will be dug up to allow the installation of pipe work, all so important for the safe transfer of boozy tincture straight to the bar, or wherever else inside the property for that matter. 

There will be health benefits too, because being at 180% proof, it will also be antiviral, something useful in a pub with regulars that never wash their hands after fiddling with their Flying Scotsman. 

And finally, the little crate next to Bob Geeza Cat has some moonshine samples, so the landlord knows what to expect once connected up to the National Moonshine Grid. 

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‘With a Dash of Washing Up Liquid’

Deep in The Forest it’s a bit of a wet one this morning with the arrival of a ballast train for a little track maintenance. 

This is something that very seldom happens, for the grass and weeds have been doing a fantastic job holding everything in place for years. 

All helped along with diluted woodworking glue so loved by railway modellers worldwide. With ‘a dash of washing up liquid’ as mentioned in the railway modelling press since 1883.

Fresh Running Moonshine for Every Home

Fresh in from the land of the inch high. 

Might be worth avoiding the area due to road closures, for they’re digging up the road today to pop a new pipeline in, not for water, sewerage, gas or electricity, but for moonshine. 

The new initiative, under the watchful eye of Barry Bullhead from The Ministry of Mayhem has come in to connect all properties to fresh running moonshine by the end of the decade. 

The target, as with most government plans will almost certainly not be met, they never are of course, so priority is being given to licensed properties, starting with The Miners Arms. 

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Stunt Double for Fred Dibnah

 

Here we are again deep in The Forest and another rogue engine has appeared, this one being from Ipswich, an unremarkable town in the far east of Little England. 

Waving Willy notices that Bob Geeza has taken up residence on the engine, Bob of course loving a bit of heat, even on a hot summer day, though it looks like it might storm soon. But as regular followers of this nonsense will know, Bob’s appearance is usually an indication of something more nefarious. 

Meanwhile Fred, who is a part time stunt double for the world renown steeplejack Fred Dibnah, is waiting the fill up the engine. But not with water, the tender has a secret partition allowing it to carry several gallons of moonshine, the real reason for its appearance so far from home. 

📷Pentax Spotmatic, 50mm Zeiss Jena Tessar, Ilford Delta 100. 

35mm film fund 👉 www.buymeacoffee.com/Nevardmedi3

Zorki 4

Another camera from my collection. A 1962 vintage Zorki 4 wearing a 35/2.8 Jupiter 12. 

I bought it in Poznan, Poland from a street market vendor back in 1994 whilst out there chasing working steam locomotives on regular trains. Which means I’ve owned it for just under half its life. 

The lens was from some Soviet collector’s camera shop in Sydenham the following year. 

All fully working too. It’s had a couple of films through it this year. The lens is stellar even wide open. 

The thing on the top is a modern wide angle viewfinder, the in camera viewfinder only being suitable for a standard lens. 

I have an original auxiliary rotating viewfinder, but this is more practical in that it takes up less space. Is brighter and doesn’t get knocked in to displaying the wrong focal length. 

Farnham Railway Station. April 2025. Foma 100

Bristol Docks. March 2025. Foma 200 

The Middle of Frigging Nowhere Friday

Almost 1000 feet up in the Mendip Hills near Priddy, there’s a disused boiler house which used to serve the lead mining industry. An old railway still runs up to it, but it’s been many years since it last saw action. Until today. 

In the brown coat, Barry Bullhead from The Ministry of Mayhem runs a moonshine side hustle along with several other dodgy activities - something that will be familiar to those who’ve followed my load of old tosh for some time. 

And to the right Peter Peckett and his waving sidekick Waving Wally have successfully managed to traverse the old steeply graded line, and with Barry Bullhead are checking out the old boiler house as a potential location for the next moonshine production run. 

Bob Geeza Cat is of course here, he always appears when there are nefarious activities in inch high land. 

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Boats, Beer. Wibble

“You come over here in your boats and expect to be put in to the best catteries, kennels and zoos...."

“No, we’ve just popped over to your side of the canal for a pub crawl, any recommendations? Ideally ones that don’t sell Doom Bar or beers that look like custard and taste of grapefruit…”

Cattle Class

We’ve not had Monochrome Monday for a while, so here we go. 

Here we are at the tiny rather ramshackle halt at Brew Street. Rumour has it, that it’s made from the remains of a tea clipper that ran aground off Flat Holm in the Bristol Channel many many years ago. Though others say that it’s made from old railway sleepers, however the first story is more interesting, oven though the latter is more believable. 

The little train is an example of 4th Class (aka ‘Cattle Class’), something that was a option back in olden times. It will of course be familiar with present day budget airline users on their way to the Mediterranean for that ‘all inclusive’ holiday. You know, the one an ‘English menu’ (“we don’t want none of that foreign muck”) and with loads of screaming feral kids urinating in the hotel pool making the water go green. The parents often have ‘Ingerland’ tattooed on their foreheads back to front, because they did it themselves looking in the mirror. 

I digress, for here we have Bob Geeza Cat looking on rather jealousy at Rufus Hound getting all the attention from Neil (though it might be Neal, they look very similar, especially in black and white). 

Barry Bullhead is chatting to Arthritic Arthur about cycling, having just seen him labouring putting his bicycle next to the smokebox door. It turns out that Barry wants to start cycling having recently had a health scare, and is asking Arthur about fluorescent yellow tight fitting Lycra so popular with late middle aged warrior bicyclists of modern times. 

But of course, Lycra has yet to be invented, so suggests he chats to Nasal Nigel about where he gets his latex wear and rubber coat with the ‘special pocket’ - something much sought after in the bus-spotting fraternity. 

And finally, this pic was taken on traditional B&W film - Ilford FP4 on a steam era Pentax Spotmatic with a 28mm lens. So there. 

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Super’D’elicious!

Deep in The Forest of Dean, there’s much excitement at Fountain Colliery this morning with the overnight surprise arrival of one of Little Lostock Hall shed’s ‘Super D’ goods engines, number 49451. 

Its arrival is most likely an administrative error, something that regular readers of this nonsense will be quite familiar with I’m sure. 

A lot of railway modellers suffer ‘administrative errors’ with their locomotive rosters apparently, especially TMD owners who have to have every sound fitted Class 37, irrespective of era, manufacturer and/or shed allocation. 

I digress, for here there’s a bit of competition as to who is going to crew the engine, with Fred and Neil having a kneeling competition to see who can kneel the longest without blinking. 

Over to the right, Jim and Doug are seeing who can stand still the longest, something that shouldn’t be an issue being made of resin, but it does mean that the competition could last days, weeks, or even years - unless I knock or shake the baseboard to force a conclusion. 

Meanwhile with all the competitive distraction, Waving Weginald has crept up on to the engine and is slowly reversing the locomotive out of shot. 

What happens in The Forest, stays in The Forest. 

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Friday Frolicking

We’ve not seen Hubert the Conversational Latin Speaking Horse for a while, but here he is back in action after being craned onto the short train of jollity. 

The annual works outing is always a fun affair, with plenty of antics which will almost certainly be frowned upon by today’s elf and safety hi-vis clad jobsworths. But once the train is moving there will be little they can do, for following the train will require a risk assessment in triplicate, 9 months strategic planning - and of course 14 years of prior consultation. 

Meanwhile, local toffs Anne and Camilla are here to join in the fun, especially seeing horses and booze are involved.

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Marked Safe from The Great Train Bothering

 

None of the inch high went to The Great Train Bothering in Derby over the weekend. They were too busy doing a little track maintenance. Or at least contemplating it. 

Here we have Shrewsbury shed’s wandering ‘coal tank’ in charge of a rake of hoppers arriving with some fresh ballast to be packed around the sleepers. Care needs to be taken, for most of them are supposedly rotten. But we don’t worry about such minor detail in inch high land, for rumour is that the sleepers are in fact fine, being moulded plastic and come from a small seaside town in Devon. 

Derek and Clive on the left are preparing to spring in to action to assist the activities, but will likely head to the pub when they work out that the engineering isn’t at all necessary due to the track and ballast being glued down solid. 

Bob Geeza Cat is doing his best to balance the scene, and isn’t really the nefarious feline mastermind that we’ve all been led to believe. He’s simply an opportunistic poser. But I think many of you have known this for years. 

And finally, Freddy the Flag, strangely enough has never waved his flag, it being solidly moulded to his right leg, due to him like the sleepers, also being made of plastic. 

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A lot of effort goes into creating these cameos, this really helps, cheers 👉 www.buymeacoffee.com/Nevardmedi3