Bentley Babe Magnet

It’s a glorious spring evening and Ivan Locksmith is out again accompanied by Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe to witness Wigan shed’s (27D) Stanier 2-6-4 glide past the crossing at Catcott. Regular readers might remember seeing this engine a few weeks ago on the Highbridge to Templecombe service making a rare appearance. A long way from its Lancashire home, the fine steed has reappeared and is rumoured to be around for another week or so, quite why I have no idea, for it is really rather over powered for such a service. But I’m sure you’ll agree it makes a mighty fine sight as day turns to night in this most remote part of the Somerset Levels. 

Ivan Locksmith, like the celebrity railway snapper Ivo Peters also has a midnight blue Bentley, you can see it parked up. It never quite has the same deep shine as Ivo’s though, but it does share an almost identical number plate, it being NHY582. Ivo’s NHY581 being bought from the same dealership. 

It appears that Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe is quite a railway buff, but I think the real reason for him being here is that he wants a spin in Ivan’s Bentley to test it out. Rumour has it that NHY583 might be up for sale shortly from a posh dealership in Bath, and ladies’ man Terry knows that the local flesh-pots will be highly attracted by such a shiny beast with that sumptuous polished walnut dash, and of course those luxurious wipe clean leather seats. Oh, hello ladies…..

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Why I Very Rarely Exhibit

 Front End Friday aka #FEF 

In the land of the inch high, at Brew Street the irregular passenger service is quite frequently horse drawn, or uses leftover props from Titfield themed and other whimsical set ups. But today, they have the pleasure of a GWR steam railmotor. 

As we can see, there is much excitement with several members of inch high naughtiness appearing, including Comical Ned with the funny shaped head. We’ve not seen him for a while, the real reason because I temporarily lost him of one of the several layouts featured here. 

Many think these cameos are dioramas, but they are all fully working layouts. Though I must admit that I don’t power them up very often, unless I’ve a show booked. But with only one show under my belt in the last 3 years due to exhibition apathy and The Zombie Apocalypse of Doom, that’s not a lot of running. I’ll be honest, while I like to visit the occasional show, running trains bores me after more than a couple of hours. But I’m more than happy to chat, so I should probably have ‘staff’ to do the actual playing trains bit. 

With model railways being the day job, my weekends tend be about music, busking or playing in a great pub or festival to a happy audience - it’s important to have time out, even though toy trains are great. Especially during the summer such holds far more appeal than being stuck in a sweaty smelly 28 Celsius exhibition hall trapped by some dull shouty bloke 9 inches away with bad halitosis, toting a rucksack with fishfinger sandwiches that have gone off and their mother’s severed head. But I guess I’m a bad person. That said, in the local music scene I do meet a lot of railway modellers, and when out on layout shoots, usually half of them play some kind of music instrument. What is the connection? Thoughts…..

And the blatant commercial plug, you can find out more the Railmotor featured in today’s photo https://www.kernowmodelrailcentre.com/c/1101/Steam-Locomotives

The Return of The Tittyfield Thunderbolt

It’s Titfield Thunderbolt Thursday again. The day when something inspired by the much loved cult colour Ealing Comedy from 70 years ago is posted. 

A few years after the famous whimsical cinema release about a group of bumbling country types trying to save their railway, a saucy sequel was shot called ‘The Return of the Tittyfield Thunderbolt. Produced by The 21st Century Anglo-American Film & Cinema Club Corporation, more known for X rated 16mm films aimed at the adult club circuit, this was their first venture in to a 35mm colour feature targeted at mainstream cinema. 

Alas the budget wasn’t big enough to hire the likes of Peter Sellers, Hattie Jacques, Roger Cooke, Dudley Moore and Joan Sims, so many of the regular inch high people were employed, acting ability not being of too much importance. Local smooth ladies’ man and shady business owner Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe was given the lead male role, he only being required to mutter “hello ladies”, or “I say, ding dong” from time to time. He’s over there on the right btw. 

The utterly charmless Barry Bullhead from The Ministry of Misery played himself as the miserable man who wanted to shut the line down.  I leave you my dear readers to work out the roles of others seen here, but of course Deidre Dinkle was to play the leading lady, who else would be more qualified? 

The whole film was shot over 4 Sundays, mostly around the Catcott & Burtle area, with Glastonbury representing ‘the big city’. It was very much a one take wonder, due to the costly use of 35 colour film in an era when b&w was more the norm for comedy cinema in Little England. But it did result in a speedy production, a process in the trade known as ‘bish bash bosh, job done’. 

The resulting film was heavily edited by the film board censors to make it acceptable to a family audience, but alas the story made no sense whatsoever having been chopped down from 83 minutes to a mere 19 minutes. Sadly it was a complete flop and was pulled within 24 hours of release, but a few 8mm, 16mm prints and VHS copies of the uncut uncensored film still exist in private collections, with Nasal Nigel even having a 35mm cinema print under his bed. 

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Shampoo & Set

A recent photo grabbed from the rear of the former Pedant & Armchair pub showing as 66618 ‘Railways Illustrated’ rumbling through on a cement train. Most the colliery was demolished years ago to make way for housing, but just a few buildings remain including the listed steam pumping engine and chimney towering above the forest which now occupies much of the site. 

The old tractor has been disused for years, it’s believed it was owned by identical twin farmers called George and George, who until recently ran a hairdressing salon in Radstock, having given up farming back in the 90s. Having made their fortune, year before last they moved to a retirement complex for hairdressers on Flat Holm in the middle of the Bristol Channel. It’s a very tidy island, all the grass is cut using scissors and clippers. It’s rumoured that some of the lawns even have a weekly a shampoo and set “oh, darling, I could do wonders with this lawn” being frequently heard. 

In the cab, just visible is driver Toby Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe, grandson of Terry. Unlike his grandfather Terry who was a bit of a slippery businessman, Toby chose the path of a railwayman having briefly worked as an estate agent in one of Terry’s many businesses. Though I must admit ‘Toby’ does suit that of being an estate agent far more than that of a railwayman. 

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William Morris

William Morris was a keen photographer. And here is a shot or his new car with Templecombe shed’s 4631 picking up a couple of empty wagons from the small yard at Catcott. 

Wagon fanciers will notice the pre war private owner colliery liveries. Not uncommon around this time, for often all British Railways did was to paint a BR number on, and not repaint the wagon, allowing the paintwork to simply fade away.

William Morris was a qualified professional light bulb changer, and always had a folding ladder with him - which in this instance allowed him the pleasure of this slightly elevated view. 

William was really rather ahead of his time though, because in the olden days most could change their own lighbulbs, unlike the younger generations of today who quite often struggle with such unless it’s an app on their phone. Gosh, I’m cynical today. 

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Unknown Location - Can You Help?

Monochrome Monday again, and because the colour meter isn’t topped up until Tuesday morning at the earliest, and because of colour overuse during the week prior, it usually runs out on Sunday night resulting in Monday’s monochrome post. 

Somewhere on the Western Region region on what appears to be a length of quadruple track (‘4 times’ for the BBC, Americans and anyone under 14) old ‘Sad Eyes’ No 6313 passes a shiny almost toy like Class 33 which must have escaped from the Southern Region of BR. 

If anyone recognises the location, or knows the workings,  please comment below. The home processed photo dates from the early 60s if that’s any help. 

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Ingerland!

Deliberation Dave and Jimmy Hootsmaloots introduce a new shunting engine to Hubert the conversational Latin speaking horse. Hubert treating every new engine arrival with suspicion, for when not chatting in Latin he has to earn a crust, or more likely earn a carrot shunting wagons around. 

But with the price of coal these days, Hubert isn’t too worried, because Hubert unlike the engine can also be fuelled on raw turnips, something that is a plenty in Little England according to The Ministry of Misery. 

On that note, today in Little England, we celebrated some chap called Saint George, who I gather was not remotely English. But us English are an odd lot, and anyway it’s a great excuse to go to the pub to quaff fake Australian and German lager whilst shouting “Ingerland” in finest World Cup football fan style. 

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Miniatur Wunderland

A snap from a few years ago when I visited Miniatur Wunderland with the Model Rail magazine team. The loco here is Sentinel Number 1, the original pre-production loco for the popular Model Rail mag release which I’d been allowed to customise and give the name ‘Mendip’. It’s done a huge mileage over the years, the wheel treads even have grooves from the rail contact. Still runs an absolute dream, and of course an occasional visitor on these here pages. 

During our visit to Miniatur Wunderland, and in a mischievous mood I sneakily popped ‘Mendip’ on to the rails for a quick snap, we of course being there officially with a guide. But not everyone knew, and moments later someone flew out of the control room, the operating computer having picked up an ‘alien’ engine. Anyway, no harm done, and now with the alarms temporarily muted the little engine popped up all over the place to pose for several photos, under supervision of course!

And finally, I’m sure a few of you have spotted Waving Wayne’s German cousin (Wolfgang) to the left, he’s been waving since 2001 when this extraordinary experience opened. 

Find out more here www.miniatur-wunderland.de/ 

Foamer or Fanboy?

Foamer Thursday…

Yesterday I popped in to the Severn Valley Railway at Bridgnorth, Shropshire and spotted this rebuilt ‘West Country’ class pacific loco outshopped in a livery it would never have carried. I think it’s rather smart, but are you a foamer or do you think it’s fab? 

I expect the foamers to win this one. Whatever you think, wipe your computer or other device screen down afterwards. Really angry ones might want to dig out one of those silly blue plague masks you might still have to reduce projectile froth. 

And cue!

Monochrome Monday

Monochrome Monday again, and because the colour meter isn’t topped up until Tuesday morning, and because of colour overuse during the week prior, it usually runs out on Sunday night resulting in Monday’s monochrome post. 

Somewhere in The Valleys, Insideout Eddie and Barry Bullhead are watching one of the many coal trains rumble through...It’s a scene on a colliery layout commission I built during the 2020 Zombie Apocalypse of Doom. 

Beryl’s New Car

Following on from yesterday’s post, it’s now first thing Sunday morning. There has been little progress after the Ruston Bucyrus crane jammed, resulting in Beryl’s old Austin 7 swinging in the air for almost 12 hours. 

Nasal Nigel and Adenoidal Andrew, after hiding in the bushes overnight near the local bus stop have reappeared to watch the proceedings, or lack of more like. Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe is standing in his usual ‘look no hands’ stance. Let’s hope he’s not going to buy a raincoat with a special pocket, because he is uncomfortably close to Nigel and Andrew. 

Radstock shed’s ‘Pug’ trundles by on its return from the Marcroft wagon works in nearby Radstock with a short train of repaired wagons as Deliberation Dave, Barry Bullhead and Beryl watch the car gently swaying gently in the morning breeze. 

Many of you will be thrilled to see that Beryl’s new shiny car has just been delivered, Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe having just dropped it off. But she wants to be sure that her old Austin 7 is safely on the scrap barge before she takes it for a spin.

And finally, Bob Geeza Cat is back to usual trick of posing in the corner of the photograph, something that he always does so well, especially with the promise of a plate of tinned pilchards in tomato sauce. 

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Scrap!

Saturday evening at the canal basin. As most Saturdays there is plenty going on, but not often beyond pub opening at 7pm. 

From left to right…

Arthritic Arthur is struggling with a crate of moonshine filled jars as Radstock shed’s Ex L&YR ‘Pug’ rumbles through with some wagons in need of repair. But help is at hand, for Arthur will be able to catch a lift in the brake van, and they might even be able to repair Arthur’s back as well - for they’re a clever lot at the wagon repair works in Radstock. 

Nasal Nigel and Adenoidal Andrew are practicing ‘quick draw’ to see who can get their sticky paw out of their respective special pocket first, the one with the biggest engine being the clear winner, even though extraction might be slower. But as we know, Nigel and Andrew keep their special pockets well lubricated. Meanwhile whilst Freddy Flag is refereeing the sticky antics, a tough job, and not for the faint hearted. 

To the right, a barge is being loaded up with scrap including the remains of a moonshine still which recently exploded. The copper should be worth something, unlike Beryl’s ancient Austin 7 which is 89% rust. It’s rumoured that she has a new car on order, and whilst she’s 96, she has no plans to give up driving just yet, even though she has 9 speeding points on her driving license. How can she have speeded in an Austin 7? It ran on 180 proof liquor of course, a simple modification by all accounts. 

And finally, Bob Geeza Cat is looking at the lack of a mooring rope, and thinks it might be time to jump ship before it goes adrift and heads towards the weir. And finally finally, keep that pick axe away from that red gas cylinder. 

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Just Before The Big Bang

It’s Titfield Thunderbolt Thursday again. The day of the week when something inspired by the much loved cult colour Ealing Comedy from 70 years ago is posted, which of course features our regular scruffy ex GWR 0-4-2 chuffer and plenty of inch high whimsical naughtiness.

It would appear that our merry band of moonshiners have broken down with their flatbed lorry and blocked the end of the runaround loop. They moved on to the lorry after giving up the narrowboat, its regular route along the canal becoming too predictable to avoid the short arm of the law. 

The crew of the locomotive are preparing to ram the lorry out of the way, but with the gas cylinder which heats the moonshine still, a sizeable quantity of 180% proof liquor, and of course a highly pressured steam loco boiler, the outcome could prove quite explosive. 

If you scroll back to yesterday’s post, you’ll now know the reason for the huge and rather scary cloud seen as far away as Devon. That photo being taken just 38 seconds after this one. 

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‘That High Vis Fad’

Seen from the relative safely of Culmstock in Devon looking towards the Independent Tax Free Principality Somerset, it’s either storming or one of the many factory sized moonshine plants have gone bang. 

If it is the latter, we can simply hope that there are no life threatening injuries or fatalities. But if there have been, hopefully any poor souls will have been inebriated enough not to notice of suffer any pain. And of course the 180% proof ‘shine is great for sterilising and cleaning any wounds tragically suffered. 

With the imminent demise of steam on the Hemyock line, ‘High-Vis’ Harry is chatting to posh photographer Ivan Locksmith about the new directive for railway staff who get their hands oily, for they are to wear these new gaudy bright orange ‘high visibility jackets’. 

Ivan glancing at the passing diesel loco on a test run and noticing the yellow warning panel, thinks how these bright colours will spoil the muted rural tranquility of his railway photographs. For this reason, he decides to stay with black & white film until the silly ‘high-vis’ fad passes by, for surely such vulgar nonsense can’t last too long? 

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Driverless Cars & Red Flag Willy

Click to enlarge 

Tram Engine Tuesday. At Windmill Sidings, Red Flag Willy, who’s been waving his flag continuously ever since he was moulded in 1953, warns road traffic users of the arrival of a rather shiny steam tram locomotive with its short trainload of vans. 

But all traffic appears to be stationary, the lack of drivers probably confirming my observation here. But (true story), in Ireland many years ago whilst driving through a small village somewhere near Clonakilty, I recall a driverless car slowly coming towards me in reverse. As I slammed on the brakes, a gentleman flew out of a nearby shop and managed to open the driver’s door and apply the offending vehicle’s handbrake just in time. Though I’m not sure it was his car to be honest, but luckily no harm done. 

Anyway, I digress. The vans behind the engine here will shortly be filled with bags of potatoes and other seasonal veg from this remote part of Cambridgeshire. And of course Red Flag Willy will again be here to warn road users of the return of the passing train. By the way, should anyone ask, Red Flag Willy is a cousin of Waving Wayne, who has been waving nonstop stop since he fell out of the mould. 

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New Kit, Old Kit

In gorgeous evening light, posh photographer Ivan Locksmiths can be seen with Terry Tuttle-Thomas Smythe as he records a Stanier 2-6-4 locomotive on the 7.30pm Highbridge to Templecombe service departing Catcott Burtle Halt. 

From time to time in the 1950s, new engines were trialed as potential replacements for existing locomotives, for the ex Midland 0-4-4 tank and Class 3 ‘Bulldog’ tender locos were sadly nearing the end of their lives on the Highbridge line. 

I’m sure you’ll agree that the graceful Class 4 Stanier 2-6-4 looks completely at home on the short rake of freshly repainted former LMS suburban coaches, but it is rather overkill for such a service, the loco being usually employed on somewhat hastier work around the cities of the northwest. 

As far as we know, this is likely to be only occurrence of such a fine beast on the former S&DJR network, but luckily the light has made for a wonderful sight as it plods its way across the Somerset Levels. 

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Decided to dig my 17 year old Nikon D200 out for this photo. After a quick sensor clean, as good as new. The review screen took a bit of getting used to, due to its low res and small size compared to more recent cameras. But it’s what’s recorded that’s important. 

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Raymond Rabbit

Click to enlarge 

Raymond Rabbit has just closed the level crossing gates at Culmstock to the road to allow the locomotive through with its short trainload of milk tanks. You’ll have to take my word for that with them being hidden behind the engine, or at least I think they were when I took the photo. 

I’ve never actually seen a rabbit with a human like pose, and certainly not one which is just shy of 6 feet tall, okay, 24mm here in the land of the inch high - just to play with peoples’ OCD by mixing metric and imperial. But he is what he is, even though I think Raymond might be wearing a vacuum formed plastic rabbit head. Each to their own of course, though personally I’d find such attire a tad claustrophobic, though some, many who are friends of Nasal Nigel might pay good money for such especially if tied up like an oven ready turkey. 

And now the tech for those interested, but if not, simply scroll past and go outside and shoot another naked TikTok video making locomotive noises or whatever you do on Sundays…..

I used my old iPhone 7 to take this photo via ‘Camera Pixels’ app which allows RAW/DNG capture as well as taking 20 or so images automatically with focus stepped from closest to infinity. You can then focus stack the results in your chosen stacking software like Combine ZM or Helicon to create a huge depth of field like here. I tried ’Camera Pixels’ on a multi lens iPhone 14 Pro, but it got into a mess not knowing which lens to use, hence the single lens iPhone 7 being used - which is well up to the job especially shooting RAW/DNG. There’s lots online about RAW or DNG if you want to know more from people far more qualified than me. 

Anyway, have a great day, I’m off to have molten moonshine filled Easter eggs on toast. Laters….

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Mice & Men

Saturday morning at Culmstock, ‘Deliberation’ Dave and ‘over and out, Roger have evacuated the locomotive cab due to a mouse being spotted hopping out of the coal bunker. Dave and Roger, despite being tough locomotive men of the steam era are terrified of mice and other small rodents. 

But luckily Bob Geeza Cat is to hand to see off the mouse, or more than likely just enjoy a mid morning snack after a bit of feline sporting cruelty, something that most cats are experts at. However, Bob is rather more interested in the cabside locomotive number, which rather than being a separate cast plate, it appears to have been stamped into the side of the engine. He ponders on how it was done, was it pressed into the metal plate or is the cabside moulded? 

The set up for today’s photo used a mid-1970s Soviet era 50mm Jupiter 8 lens (39mm screw thread) mounted on a mirrorless camera. These lenses designed for 35mm rangefinder cameras don’t focus very close, so a close up ‘filter’ was attached temporarily using a high tech engineering approach. 

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Not Quite Front End Friday

Not Quite Front End Friday #NQFEF - Harry the Hammer and Shameless Shamus have been waiting at the tiny halt for days camping out in a nearby barn overnight after thinking that the thrice daily passenger service had been cancelled several times. 

What they don’t realise is that the passenger service ended last year. But they can stay there a bit longer because they look good in the photos. I’ll replace them with Bob Geeza Cat in due course when he gets back from posing on Brew Street. 

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Something’s Afoot?

It’s Titfield Thunderbolt Thursday again. The day when something inspired by that cult colour Ealing Comedy is posted, in this case a scruffy ex GWR 0-4-2 chuffer and of course plenty of whimsical naughtiness. Or is it? 

Where are the moonshiners who frequently dominate the canalside? The supply boat is just arriving, but the resident moonshiners and their mobile still appear have vanished with the boat simply carrying its more usual cargo of custard powder in wooden casks, left handed lock paddle winders, dried water and chocolate teapots. And of course all the usual colourful narrowboat themed tat for day trippers, grockles and gongoozlers 

Even Charlie Cheese is selling pure unadulterated full cream milk, no heavily disguised ‘shine or hollowed out truckles of finest Somerset cheddar filled with spirit laced rough farmhouse cider. Bob Geeza Cat is sceptical as he looks into Charlie’s eyes, but he is secretly thrilled knowing that he’s the cat who got the cream today. Or so he hopes. 

To me, everything here looks rather suspicious, what are your thoughts? 

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Pontification

At the colliery, getting motivated to start the early shift always takes some time in the land of the inch high. As usual there are the recently arrived empty wagons to swap with the full ones loaded up on the night shift. And anyone who enjoys playing with their toy train shunting plank (that’s not a euphemism btw) will know that there can be many possibilities to achieve a suitable result, ideally with the minimum amount of effort. 

As usual there is much discussion as to how the proceed, with this aspect usually taking twice (‘two times’ for the TikTok generation) as long as the actual shunting process. And with all the unnecessary pontification, somebody forget to light the fire in the engine, this will no doubt lead to further delays and a lengthy expensive enquiry. Oops. 

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My Most Stolen Photo

 I wasn’t sure what I was going to post today, but this one came up from 2009 shortly after I extended Cement Quay by an extra 3 or 4 feet with an additional baseboard in preparation for Wycrail in High Wycombe. 

Though I must admit, I hadn’t checked whether in its extended form it would fit in to the car until the 11th hour and ended up have to do two round 60 mile return trips to get the layout to the show during the outer London Friday evening rush hour traffic. Lesson learned there! 

A few years ago I sold Cement Quay and the extra bit seen here to the Scottish Diesel Electric Group. They’ve since taken it all over the place including that there Europe. Give them a Google, they’re a fab lot.

This photo is possibly my most stolen, so hence the logo being quite big, but I’m sure some whizz would easily be able to remove it. But I work on the fact that those who poach photography are lazy and probably lack such skills. By the way a quick telephone call to the commercial retailer ‘who found it on Google’ sorted out the problem rather quickly. Picking up the phone is far more effective than email, and actually far more fun, because these days people don’t expect it. By the way, the retailer has since gone bust, shit happens.

And finally, please SHARE these posts of course, but if you want to use one commercially just message me, I don’t bite, unless I’ve skipped breakfast. 

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The Railway Hotel

Sunday at Culmstock in Devon and rumour has it that the passenger service might be ending in the forthcoming year, so celebrity average posh photographer Ivan Locksmith is on hand to record the arrival of the mid morning Hemyock to Tiverton Junction service. That’s him accompanied by Rufus Hound. 

It’s also rumoured that The Railway Hotel will soon be renamed The Culm Valley Inn, I presume in anticipation of the railway likely losing its passenger service. For any keen researchers living in the present day reading this post, pop the location in to Google Street View, for the pub is still very much a thriving business, though sadly the railway has long gone. 

But going back to the rose-tinted olden times, Pete & Dud waiting on the platform are quite likely the only passengers today as they head for the start of their shift at Tiverton Junction, they’ve just had a swift one of two at the pub. They’ll probably stop by again at the end of their shift too. 

And finally, the van owned by Charlie Cheese is delivering milk, butter and cheese. And if you ask nicely, he’ll do you a drop of over-proof moonshine smuggled in over the border from the tax free Principality of Somerset. 

The same view today 

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I’m Building a TMD!

I’ve decided after much thought to break up Brew Street. Once the boards have been stripped right back I’m going to build a TMD aka Traction Maintenance Depot in Brew Street’s place to display my extensive collection of DCC sound fitted Class 37s and Class 66s. I’ll also use it to occasionally display my extensive Thomas the Tank Engine collection. 

To make it stand out from the many TMDs out there, I’m installing 10 hidden microphones within the various structures to amplify the sound fitted locos. When exhibiting, something my regular followers know I do most weekends, I’ll place one of my Marshall guitar amps under the layout to ensure that my TMD layout will be the loudest. By the way, the amp will go up to 11. When in Thomas the Tank engine mode, I’ve hired Nasal Nigel and his sticky friend Adenoidal Andrew to provide live voices for the talking engines. Fear not, they’ll have to bring their own vocal microphones. 

The photo here is the result of 5 seconds with a 1 inch wide woodworking chisel. I expect to have completed the stripping task by mid morning. Extensive use of Bachmann ready to plonk buildings and Knightwing kits will ensure the layout stands out from other TMD and Thomas the Tank Engine themed layouts. This will also ensure swift progress, for the layout is booked to make its debut next weekend at The Big Trainset Show at the NEC in Birmingham. 

And finally, I haven’t decided next weekend whether of run mid 2000s diesel era or Thomas the Tank. Maybe I could have different themes in either day? Please let me know what you’d like to see.

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