Strange Noises at Night

Here we have a modern day view near the former Polbrook Gurney Colliery as a Freightliner Class 66 trundles towards the camera with a cement train past the side of what was The Pedant & Armchair pub. 

The pub closed shortly after the closure of the colliery in 1975, Polbrook Gurney Colliery being the last of the North Somerset Collieries outliving the more well known Writhlington Pit by just a few months. 

Curiously a line still runs into the former colliery which closed half a century ago, that’s it disappearing off to the right. It appears to be well maintained too, but its purpose is a bit of a mystery, for even Network Rail don’t know why they have to maintain it in fully working order, for no trains are ever seen or diagrammed. 

Locals to the area say that from time to time in the small hours during the winter that they hear the clanking of coal trucks and the toot of an engine whistle. But nobody has ever seen anything. 

Only the other night such noises were heard again, so a couple of former regulars from The Pedant & Armchair went to investigate, but as soon as they got close, the noises stopped. 

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Crabtree Lane - New Layout

Rub to enlarge 

An idyllic country railway scene at Crabtree Lane as the 11.04am Wadebridge to Bodmin General pauses to pick up a few passengers. 

To the left, Toby and Timothy eye up a tray of moonshine that’s been left in exchange for a tank load of Super and a stale pasty. Though it was pointed out that the owner could have run his car on moonshine. 

Celebrated average photographer Ivan Locksmith stands next to his Bentley to watch the train come through. He’s quite frustrated in that he’s run out of film, for it would have made a lovely photograph. 

Meanwhile over on the platform, Red Rachel from the Ministry of Misery accounts department is looking at the former station pub which is now a private dwelling due to tax rises making the business unviable. 

This is another tick in the Ministry of Misery’s quest to get rid of all pubs by this time next year. Next her thoughts will turn towards reintroducing the window tax for former pubs and in due course also greenhouses that produce homegrown food for the domestic market. 

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This is a scene from a new garage sized railway I’m currently working on. Photos may occasionally appear, or maybe not. 

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Dearest Knows Best

There was plenty of snow overnight at Windmill Sidings, as a positively gleaming engine appears to collect a short train-load of Brussels sprouts. For Christmas cometh, and the inch high need to start boiling their sprouts so they’re ready for Christmas dinner which is now less than 3 weeks way.

I’ve seen quite a few people using aye eye to create winter scenes with their model railway photos. But none of that nonsense here, what you see it a good dusting of bicarbonate of soda sieved over everything. At a push, flour works too, but bicarbonate of soda clumps a little and can even have a light sparkle if you get the lighting right. It’s whiter too, much like a set of Turkish choppers so loved by reality TV stars.

Obviously don’t run trains over it, and vacuum off after taking any photos, for it gets in to everything and you certainly wouldn’t want it in your engine’s gubbins.

Dearest said that I didn’t need to return the bicarb’ to the larder after use, for the addition of static grass fibres and other scenic materials wouldn’t be great for cooking with. Dearest knows best.

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Raquel from Accounts

Racy Raquel from the accounts department loves a puffing steamy locomotive, and even more those who crew such hot throbbing machines of slimy oil, greasy metal and sweaty steam, whilst dripping hot fluids from every joint. 

Bob Geeza Cat is really taken with Raquel, and has even ordered his personal catering department to turn up with some fishy treats to tempt her. Though potted fermented herring heads in aspic understandably might not be her thing. 

Deliberation Dave, doesn’t really understand girls, for ‘Mother’ warned him about such creatures, so he concentrates on his note book, anything to avoid eye contact. Mother, it turns out doesn’t want him to leave home, even though he’s turning 63 in the new year. 

Then something very strange happened…..

 

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Elimination of the Internal Combustion Engine

And here we are under the watchful misguided eye of Barry Bullhead from the Ministry of Mayhem testing out more crazy ideas to supposedly increase productivity and misery. 

They’re also testing out using animals in a move to eliminate internal combustion engines as part of making a greener planet as well as making the billionaires even richer. 

In the unlikelihood of this being successful, there are plans afoot for passengers to pull their own trains, starting with the more northerly parts of HS1.9 which is currently under construction. 

Back to the photo; Hubert the conversational Latin speaking horse is very strong indeed, and can easily pull the load (see the video below), but whilst double height container trains aren’t unknown, bridges or tunnels could be just the start of many issues.  

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Leading the way with methane powered trains

 

Today in the land of the inch high they’re trying out a new gas turbine train on a remote branch line to test out the tilting mechanism on tight curves. 

It’s to be initially rolled out in rural areas so it can make use of farmyard methane, of which there can be plenty. It will also be used on inch high London services and will be fuelled by inch high Westminster guff (which is 99% methane), with most major inch high termini having a direct pipeline to Parliament and other inch high governmental buildings. 

In due course inch high local government offices will also be linked by gas pipeline to larger provincial railway stations. 

If successful, methane powered trains could rolled out in N gauge as well as O gauge and possibly TT. S gauge is unlikely due to complete lack of demand, and Z gauge due to engineering limits. 

OO gauge inch high Little England leads the way!!! Hurrah!

Parp💨

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USA Tank

 Quite what one of Southampton Dock’s ‘USA tanks’ is doing at Polbrook Gurney Colliery I’ve no idea. But that’s one of the joys of model railways in that you can bend history, time, place  and view things through those rose tinted spectacles. Actually that’s an odd phrase, I’ll need to Google it. 

The very functional looking engine does look at home in this industrial landscape, and I gather in real life at least one ended up being owned by The National Coal Board. 

Note the old Northern United wagon, but now with British Railways numbering due to nationalisation. This wasn’t unusual in olden times with wooden wagons being scrapped and replaced with steel ones, money wasn’t wasted on repainting.

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T’ Grim North

Old wheezing 17 takes the grade on some remote line in T’ Grim North with a rake of loaded coal trucks destined for some miserable impoverished northern town or city. 

The coal won’t be burned, but is part of the ‘five a day’ in that northern diet which often consists of wholesome things like iron railings, cardboard, hessian, soot and warm stale mild ale.

Meanwhile there appears to be a banking engine on the rear. But this is not actually the case, the guard is having a barbecue on the veranda of the brake van, the hessian steaks giving off a good amount of smoke as they always do when seasoned with soot and used sump oil. 

With apologies to those in T’ Grim North. 

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Randy Andy

Click to enlarge

Working from left to right, new kid on the block Benny is rolling oak casks of moonshine about, he does this a couple of times a week as part of the ageing process. Quite why they haven’t been stolen I’ve no idea, but the note with Thames Water stamped on to the side has probably put thieves off. 

Bob Geeza Cat is inspecting his weekly delivery of Devon cream, potted pilchards, tinned herrings and desiccated fish hooves (I’ve never heard of such either) from posh pet food suppliers Fishgut & Kibble. 

Beryl, our favourite racy 95 year old hell-raising granny has arrived to help Bob take his luxury goodies back to her lovely warm country cottage. Bob has many homes, and is currently residing with Beryl because she’s the only member of the inch high with central heating and very expensive soft furnishings. Though quite why Fishgut & Kibble didn’t deliver directly to Beryl’s cottage I’ve no idea. 

And finally, Beryl has a new humble man servant who can take care of all her needs, he’s simply called ‘Andrew’ and rumour has it until recently had royal connections. She found him wandering in the woods, apparently homeless, so has taken him in on trial as her new ‘man who can’. We all know that Beryl loves a man who can, especially if younger than herself and with a slightly randy reputation, though he might have other ideas.  

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Cat and Dog Fish

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Here we are and Shrewsbury engine shed’s roaming Webb ‘Coal Tank’ is back at Fountain Colliery pushing a few ballast hoppers around, these particular ones being called ‘Dogfish’. 

There’s also another similar type known as ‘Catfish’, quite how the designers and engineers came up with the names I’m not so sure. Though in those far off times all sorts of powerful opiates were readily available over the counter from the local chemist, so that might be something to do with things. 

And finally, for the photoholics, this is an analogue capture, with the smoke also taken on film being borrowed from a full sized chuffer on The Watercress Line back in the spring. Pentax Spotmatic, 50mm/2.8 Carl Zeiss Jena Tessar. 1/4 sec at f22. Ilford Delta 100.

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Chicken Dinner for One

Lick to enlarge. Wipe screen after. 

On Saturdays the inch high regularly come out on mass to witness passing rail tours of which there are many, this Saturday being no exception. 

The SLS aka Slow Locomotive Society are running this trip for lonely single late middle aged men and socially challenged boys who can’t get a girlfriend. But girls have yet to be invented, so this is no surprise to be fair. 

Without these jaunts around the rail network many of them would never leave the house, with many living in attic rooms and cellars, often with only a Hornby track mat and a Fray Bentos tinned ‘chicken dinner for one’ for company. 

The locomotive today is an unremarkable 2-6-2 Class 2 tank engine, and even more so in that nobody could even be bothered to clean it, but at least the passenger carriages are slightly better that the usual mildew and urine smelling ones that normal for the branchline service. 

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Clarks Shoes

Lick to enlarge. Wipe screen after 

Here we are in the middle of the week as Templecombe’s ex GWR Collett 3206 collects an empty mineral wagon from the short siding at Catcott. The wagon would have been full of coal mostly likely being used for heating moonshine stills. 

Due to the recent change of regional boundaries, with the line now being under the control of the Western Region of British Railways, increasingly ex GWR engines have been replacing former Midland ones for some time. This turn a few years ago would having likely been powered by a Midland 3F 0-6-0 tender locomotives, or ‘Bulldog’ as the old S&DJR crews used the call them. 

As usual Waving Willy is waving at the crew as they perform their task picking up and dropping off wagons along the route between Highbridge and Evercreech Junction. 

The box vans are destined for Glastonbury where they’ll be swapped with freshly loaded ones stacked to the brim with shoes from the famous Clarks shoe factory. That will be the last stop before Evercreech, for West Pennard and the delightfully named Pylle very rarely handle any goods these days. 

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"Misty Catcott Morning: Wally Waves, Brakevan Beds, and a Parched Allotment"

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It’s an atmospheric autumn morning at Catcott as the soft sunlight penetrates the gloom, but sadly wet weather is forecast, so it’s not likely to last. Still it will be good for the crossing keeper’s trackside allotment which has suffered due to an unusually dry summer. 

Waving Wally, though it might be Willy, Weggie or Waymond (it’s hard to tell, for they’re all identical) waves at the passing pick-up goods from Evercreech Junction. The train today is going as far as Highbridge Wharf, something that doesn’t happen too often these days due to very little commercial shipping not helped by the fact that harbour hasn’t been dredged in years. 

The train has two brakevans, the one here and course one on the rear of the train. This one next to the engine has a couple of ex army fold out beds in it and is regularly used by railway staff who’ve missed the last bus or train home after a rowdy boozy night in the local Wheeltappers Shunters. 

The only problem overnighting in the brakevan to sober up, you might find that you wake up a long way from home, especially if it’s been allocated to  long distance freight. Though you’d hope that the rostered guard would turf out any drunken snoozing interlopers. 

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Fujicolor 200

Nikon FE, Nikkor 35/2 

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None for the Road

Tap to enlarge. Sanitise screen after. 

It’s always fun and frolics on a Friday at Brew Street, as Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe returns from the pub to find his Triumph Roadser craned up on to some wooden ale casks as he mutters out loud “what an absolute shower!”

Terry really shouldn’t be driving after 8 large gin and tonics, even though in olden times such was thought to improve driving skills with vintage adverts for booze often having lines like ‘One for the road’ or ‘Try Mildred’s Tonic Wine, it will make you feel like you’re driving at 100 mph!’ or ‘Buy your husband Gilbey’s Special Driving Bitter, it will turn that long journey in to an absolute whirlwind!”  

But his fellow inch high colleagues, whilst they often appear to be up to all sorts of irresponsible shenanigans, do have some common sense, so for Terry and other’s safety, have made it difficult for him to drive away. 

And finally, with Terry’s well-being in mind, they’ll shortly send him back to the pub to sober up with a few halves of Watneys Red Barrel. 

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Luxury Canal Cruise - with Dining

Tap to enlarge. Sanitise after. 

Here we are down at the canal, and Rufus Hound and Bob Geeza cat have won a luxury adventure canal cruise with dining for two, though the beaten up old dinghy might not be up to the expectation of ‘luxury’, but as we know, times are hard. 

The dining experience consists of luxury hampers from Fishgut & Kibble, the much sought after posh picnic supplier aimed at pampered pets. The boat trip adventure simply relies on wherever the current takes it, there being no obvious means of propulsion. 

Rufus gets to choose a suitable aperitif from a basket of liquid goodies which can consist of anything from fish bladder milkshakes to fermented cod eyeballs in herring blood - shaken, not stirred of course. 

Next will follow a couple of hampers full of all sorts of delights like potted shrimp bladders, fishtail pâté, Icelandic haddock gallbladder tartare, and maybe even minced shark intestine slow cooked in a blowfish stomach. This will all be washed down with a bottle or three of lightly sparkling vintage fish juices collected from the fish market at the end of trading during the summer heatwaves. Mmmm, delicious, you must agree. 

And finally, a little prayer is performed wishing Rufus and Bob a good trip and safe return, for the beaten up old dinghy has a habit of taking in water, especially when fully laden like here.

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Horses Can’t Open Beer Bottles

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Hubert the conversational Latin speaking horse, looks up at Brian, and in Latin says “Thank you for the crate of beer, but being a horse, I struggle to open and hold a bottle with my hefty hooves, any chance of a long straw after you’ve opened them all for me?” But sadly Brian doesn’t speak Latin. 

Meanwhile over to the right, Neil is trying to attract the attention of Bob Geeza Cat. Bob, being a cat is obviously playing hard to get and making things tricky for Neil. Neil is a bit of a twit with very poor balance. Bob knows this 🐾

Meanwhile, Waving Wally in the distance is waving at Waving Weggie who is driving the engine today. But Weggie is looking the wrong way, so doesn’t know that Wally is trying the remind Weggie that he’s forgotten the freshly loaded wagons destined for Lydney Junction and beyond. 

Just another day of chaos in inch high little England. 

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Hush Hush

Lick, poke or click to enlarge if you can be bothered. Sanitise screen after. 

The autumnal setting sun illuminates one of Bath shed’s Stanier 8F 2-8-0 locos which has arrived at Fountain Colliery to collect a fresh load of coal.

Large engines like this probably wouldn’t be used on the private colliery lines, but in inch high little England we don’t worry about such things too much. For I’m sure that most of us model railway nuts bend the rules a little in this respect, so we can include that favourite locomotive. 

I do think that it looks very much at home here, so will put it down to management discretion, something that probably did happen from time to time, but never officially recorded. Hush hush.

Fountain Colliery Micro Layout

Fountain Colliery regularly features here. And here’s what it looks like if you stand back a bit to see its mammoth 4ft by 1ft footprint. It can be connected to Brew Street and/or fiddle/staging yard. 

It’s all fully working and has built it photography grade compact fluorescent lighting (CFL) which gives a good illumination and far nicer colour rendering and brightness than LED tape.

It earns its keep being frequently used as a background for Kernow Model Rail Centre product photography, as well of course the inch high cameos here.

Traction Engine Tuesday

Traction Engine Tuesday or maybe 12 Inch to the Foot Tuesday. 

Okay, they’re not all traction engines, but I liked the word play. 

Okay, they’re not all traction engines, but I liked the word play. 

Here are few snaps off my 74 year old 1951 vintage Zeiss Nettar 518/16 taken at Steam at Work at the Rural Life Living Museum, Tilford a few weeks ago on Saturday 6 September 2025. And finally over weekend I developed and digitised the film for your enjoyment here. 

Being a bit of a fogey at heart, I enjoy keeping old things working, the ancient camera being an eBay find a couple of years ago from some chap on some remote Scottish island thinning out his collection. 

I know very little about ‘traction engines’, (or all steam locomotives). But I enjoy the smells and the chuffetty chuff chuff, toot toot and hissing sounds they make, for they appear to be very much a living thing. Though I doubt they have self awareness or could do the Sunday Times crossword. But even if they could, they probably wouldn’t be able to master a pencil or Biro so would have to rely on their ‘staff’ to do that bit. 

There I was there in a sea of mobile phones all shooting vertical video (what the £ is all that about, you don’t put your TV on its side, of maybe you do?) and digicams. People dressed in vulgar stretchy synthetic ‘leisurewear’ were double taking at my choice of vintage camera “Oohh, is that Box Brownie?” Or “my great great great great great great grandfather had one of those”. 

There should be dress code at such events, with only natural fibres being allowed, ideally just tweed, hessian and horsehair. Vegans would be allowed to wear cotton, but not in polo shirt or tee shirt form, and never with logos. 

Click images to enlarge…

Tomorrow, something different 🚂🚂🚂

Land Ahoy!!!!!

Tap to enlarge. Sanitise screen after. 

Here we are at Polbrook Gurney Colliery, and somehow or other a small coastal steamer has managed to make its way up the Somerset Coal Canal, despite it being wider and deeper than most of the canal, but we don’t worry about such minor detail in inch high little England. 

Our favourite moonshiners have been saving their pennies and bought an old Clyde Puffer steam freighter which will allow them to produce moonshine on the go as well as being able to store and distribute it all around the little British Isles an beyond. 

The still next to the cabin is just for test fermentation, however under that lengthy cover below the dinghy there’s a whole industrial sized production plant which takes heat from the ship’s steam engine. 

Over on the right, Waving Wally and local shifty busy business and ladies’ man Terry Tuttle-Thomas-Smythe eagerly await the arrival with their Sentinel steam lorry for further inland distribution. 

And finally, the real stars of the show, Bob Geeza Cat and Rufus hound are discussing how the business can evolve even further, maybe even the American continent, but personally I’d never trust the cat 🐾

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27 September 1825 - Locomotion No.1.

 Lick to enlarge - sanitise screen after 

To celebrate 200 years since the first public passenger and goods train ran on the 27th of September 1825 on The Stockton & Darlington Railway, Waving Willy and Bob Geeza cat have taken ‘Locomotion’ out for a spin in the colliery sidings. 

The locomotive is quite high maintenance, so Gary the Greaser is ready with a brush and bucket full of gunk which he has to apply every 7 minutes to all moving parts including Willy’s arm which is a little stiff at times. 

200 years ago, Locomotion and its train managed to get up to a hair raising 12 miles per hour, but today, because they won’t be pulling anything, they hope to double that with the addition of a little moonshine in the mix. 

Let’s all wish them luck with their quest! 🚂🚂🚂

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Hippies, Wannabe Druids & Scarecrows

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A quiet September day on the levels, as the 10.36 Highbridge to Evercreech Junction briefly pauses at Catcott halt before continuing on its lonely way. 

With my experience of the Somerset Levels, few people are ever seen, apart from lost hippies and wannabe druids trying to find King Arthur. You might also spot the occasional scarecrow wandering the lanes between jobs frightening crows, for scarecrowing is a popular pastime in these parts, with the bonus being that very little outlay is required clothing wise. In fact, scruffier the better. 

I’ve often thought that toy train enthusiasts, you know, the ones that you only ever see at railway shows could make good scarecrows, the attire being more than appropriate. Their skills scaring small children also being most useful. 

Genuine question, why do they always where a heavy winter soiled anorak and several layers even during a heatwave? Maybe it’s so they can hide that locomotive purchase from mother? 

I’m going down a dangerous wormhole, so back on track (see what I did there?)…..

These days of the line only see short trains, with one carriage usually being more than adequate for the few passengers. In fact railway enthusiasts usually outnumber regular passengers as they seek to ride the rails of lines soon to be closed. The parcels van is always well loaded with cider, cheese, Airfix kits and moonshine however. 

Anyway, I’d best get on an earn a crust. May you have a lovely Friday wherever you are.

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Roger Sprocket

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A repeat of a post from back in 2022, but looking at stats, few will have seen it first time around…. So, like a Sunday afternoon James Bond repeat, here we go again…..

Sunday morning on Combwich shed, and Roger Sprocket has been out polishing number 5 with his snotty and now greasy rag overnight. Roger is a very particular man and can think of nothing better than polishing things with his rag. 

That’s his Morris Minor, and as we can see it is in beautiful condition, Roger most treasuring the wipe-clean leather seats and curved green dashboard. The central large speedometer dial receiving the most attention because he can wipe his rag round and round in a circular motion for hours on end whilst making all sorts of steam engine noises to himself. Huff, puff, chuffetty chuff he goes…

Roger’s day job is working for the Ministry of Defence Film Unit, where he counts the sprocket holes along either side of 35mm motion picture film. He also checks the size and shape of the holes to be sure that they match the cameras used. He also checks the number of sprocket holes on the high speed 16mm film used for covert surveillance work, with the 400 foot rolls bringing him the most joy and pleasure. 

All this of course has to done in total darkness to avoid fogging the film, but Roger is an expert feeling things in the dark, he being brought up a locked cellar between the age of 4 and 21. Despite this, he still loves ‘mother’, she now living in the cellar instead of him. 

When he's not polishing engines or counting sprocket holes, he regularly meets up with Nasal Nigel to hang about at bus stations taking numbers. And as if this isn’t enough joy, next weekend Nigel will be taking Roger along to the local outfitters to help him choose a new mackintosh, you know, the one with the special pocket. 

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View from the Fiddle Yard Tuesday

Tap, click or lick for a bigger view. Wipe  screen after. 

Here we are at Catcott a few months after closure of the line and the contractors have arrived to dismantle the railway. 

Out of sight behind the engine are a couple of open wagons that will be used to cart away anything of value. Basically things made of metal. 

Freddy the Flag has just closed the gates, for what will be one of the last few times before they’re broken up and probably burned in the old goods yard along with the ground frame and anything else that is flammable. 

He then looks up at the cottage, hoping that it won’t be demolished, for it has really has lovely views of the big skies, flat watery meadows and moors. 

The railway van in the distance should have gone with the departure of the final goods train, but the local moonshiners are using it for storage, but it will need to be moved before the rails are taken up. But a suitable deal will no doubt be had with the contractors. 

And finally, as you’ll have worked out from the title, this is the view I get poking the camera through from the fiddle yard on full zoom, a little Canon G7x Mk2.

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