Hairy Horacio Locke-Paddle

Sunday down at the coal wharf, and the charming red bearded boatman Hairy Horacio Locke-Paddle is passing through with his supply boat which comes through every 3 or 4 weeks. Horacio is quite a charmer and always has a good story to tell about his antics travelling the Somerset Coal Canal. He can entertain camera toting Gongoozlers for literally hours with his tales, and then has the uncanny knack of being able to sell his dubious wares to even the most sceptical.

Horacio stocks almost everything from air dried bottled water to chocolate jelly moulds and even ‘safety paraffin’ which is designed not to burn for safety reasons. And if that isn’t enough he even sells rubber chairs aimed at accountants who want to spice up their dull lives and become weekend lion tamers. A latex lion mask is included for the submissive one who wants to be tamed. Nasal Nigel is a huge fan by the way and endorses these products enthusiastically, especially the mask with its realistic whiskers from real hair. 

Meanwhile a bagged fertiliser train rumbles through from the docks at Portishead hauled by one of Stanier’s graceful 2-6-4 express tank engines. It’s rare to see such a steamy beast in this part of Little England, but I’m sure you’ll agree it looks most splendid on this fully fitted goods train. 

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